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Ask Charlene Hertzberg Your Own Question

Charlene Hertzberg
Charlene Hertzberg, Child care provider, parent, teache
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 44
Experience:  22 years of experience working with children, formerly worked as a parental advisor
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We have been financially helping our 43 year old daughter ...

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We have been financially helping our 43 year old daughter for the past 10 years, and have baby sat her son (our grandson) for thousands of hours. We are always there to help her. (She''s divorced - after 6 years of marriage - he walked out). My husband has been coaching our grandson in baseball since he was 4 years old. He had his first two home runs last week. After the last game where he struck out, my husband asked him if he took his eyes off ball and smiled at him. Our daughter took this as a smirk and a criticism and put her arm around our grandson and turned him away and the both walked away from us. The next day she called and screamed at us that we have no right to criticize our grandson like that. We saw her action as extremely disrespectful and ungrateful and setting a bad example for our grandson. Now, she refuses to communicate with us.   My husband is very depressed over allof this.   She told him to never come to another ball game. Is she right?

No, it sounds like she was quite out of line. I think you need to call her or go to her house, or mail a letter, whatever way you think she might actually hear you best, XXXXX XXXXX her know that your husband was not trying to criticize at all. Let her know what your husband's intention was. Have your husband apologize for doing something that offended her, if he is willing (he did not do anything wrong, but he did hurt her, he can apologize for doing something that she perceived as hurting her and her son).

Once you have things sorted out, talk to her and let her know how hurt you and your husband are. Explain that you feel you should have been given an opportunity to explain yourselves, that you and your husband have spent a great deal of time with your grandson, and that mistakes are bound to happen when you spend so much time together.


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