How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask danny541 Your Own Question

danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 909
Experience:  Have 5 children !
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
danny541 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My child (9 yrs) needs an operation (a Mitroffanoff ...

This answer was rated:

My child (9 yrs) needs an operation (a Mitroffanoff Channel), but has a phobia of hospitals and all that hospital visits involve. He is refusing to agree to let it be done. The hospital won''t do it until he is in agreement. How can I help him to over come this fear? Have so far drawn a blank with GP, and hospital involved.

Hello and welcome to Just Answer !

What have you tried so far ? Why does he have a dislike of hospitals ?

Why is the hospital refusing to do this procedure unless a nine year old agrees ?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
My son has Cronic Renal Failure due to undiagnosed Posterior Urethral Valves,he was extremly sick for the first year of his life,and lost a Kidney, he will probably need a transplant when he reaches his teenage years. However he is now very well, and has been for 8 yrs so I don't think he would have any memories of hospitals from then. He has to visit a children's hospital every 12 weeks for a clinic check up and it takes three adults to hold him down for bloods to be taken it is very traumatic for all concerned. My husband and I usually tell him about a clinic appointment the day before as he has what I think are minor panic attacks, it makes him sick at school. We have tried visiting the hospital without having anything done, just to visit, but even this made him sweat as we were walking in the door. I have tried talking to the school nurse but to no avail, she wasn't able to offer any suggestions, except to visit our local hospital, which is not the one he normally goes to, we usually have a three hour train journey to the heart of London so that part just exaserbates the problem it is like I am making him walk the green mile!
I think that the hospital is refusing to do it without him agreeing is because after the operation he will have to Catheterise himself via his bellybutton several times a day and attatch a bag overnight, they have found that children who are accepting of this procedure manage to look after it better as there is a very high risk of infection. Thank you

It sounds like this little guy has good reason for feeling the way he does, and as a parent, I can only try to imagine what you are going through, not possible.

It sounds from what you have tried, that you have a tough road ahead of you, to try to get the surgery done with less trauma to your son. I think talking to a really good children's counselor should help your son and the sooner you start the better. They might also suggest starting him on some meds. for the anxiety attacks to try to help him calm down, before he goes to have it done. They will help him understand why it has to be done, that maybe you didn't think to touch on.

I think also that you might consider having someone cath him instead of doing this himself, or you and your husband could try to do this for him. It would help him to learn about it himself so he feels he is a part of helping himself to get well, instead of just allowing others to do this.

We don't know what he may remember about what happened when he was born when he got so sick his first year. But if he even has vague memories it could be enough to make a child his age to be very traumatized.!

I hope this will help him get through something that would be tough even for an adult , let alone a nine year old.

If you still have more questions on this. Please let me know. If not, then please click the green accept button, so I will be paid for my help !


danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 909
Experience: Have 5 children !
danny541 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Cher's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2
  • Jennifer's Avatar


    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • professional_Alison's Avatar


    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • Dr. Shirley Schaye's Avatar

    Dr. Shirley Schaye


    Satisfied Customers:

    PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
  • Eveningstargazer's Avatar


    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Related Parenting Questions