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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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My child (9 yrs) needs an operation (a Mitroffanoff ...

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My child (9 yrs) needs an operation (a Mitroffanoff Channel), but has a phobia of hospitals and all that hospital visits involve. He is refusing to agree to let it be done. The hospital won''t do it until he is in agreement. How can I help him to over come this fear? Have so far drawn a blank with GP, and hospital involved.

Hello and welcome to Just Answer !

What have you tried so far ? Why does he have a dislike of hospitals ?

Why is the hospital refusing to do this procedure unless a nine year old agrees ?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
My son has Cronic Renal Failure due to undiagnosed Posterior Urethral Valves,he was extremly sick for the first year of his life,and lost a Kidney, he will probably need a transplant when he reaches his teenage years. However he is now very well, and has been for 8 yrs so I don't think he would have any memories of hospitals from then. He has to visit a children's hospital every 12 weeks for a clinic check up and it takes three adults to hold him down for bloods to be taken it is very traumatic for all concerned. My husband and I usually tell him about a clinic appointment the day before as he has what I think are minor panic attacks, it makes him sick at school. We have tried visiting the hospital without having anything done, just to visit, but even this made him sweat as we were walking in the door. I have tried talking to the school nurse but to no avail, she wasn't able to offer any suggestions, except to visit our local hospital, which is not the one he normally goes to, we usually have a three hour train journey to the heart of London so that part just exaserbates the problem it is like I am making him walk the green mile!
I think that the hospital is refusing to do it without him agreeing is because after the operation he will have to Catheterise himself via his bellybutton several times a day and attatch a bag overnight, they have found that children who are accepting of this procedure manage to look after it better as there is a very high risk of infection. Thank you

It sounds like this little guy has good reason for feeling the way he does, and as a parent, I can only try to imagine what you are going through, not possible.

It sounds from what you have tried, that you have a tough road ahead of you, to try to get the surgery done with less trauma to your son. I think talking to a really good children's counselor should help your son and the sooner you start the better. They might also suggest starting him on some meds. for the anxiety attacks to try to help him calm down, before he goes to have it done. They will help him understand why it has to be done, that maybe you didn't think to touch on.

I think also that you might consider having someone cath him instead of doing this himself, or you and your husband could try to do this for him. It would help him to learn about it himself so he feels he is a part of helping himself to get well, instead of just allowing others to do this.

We don't know what he may remember about what happened when he was born when he got so sick his first year. But if he even has vague memories it could be enough to make a child his age to be very traumatized.!

I hope this will help him get through something that would be tough even for an adult , let alone a nine year old.

If you still have more questions on this. Please let me know. If not, then please click the green accept button, so I will be paid for my help !


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