Hello and welcome to Just Answer !
What have you tried so far ? Why does he have a dislike of hospitals ?
Why is the hospital refusing to do this procedure unless a nine year old agrees ?
It sounds like this little guy has good reason for feeling the way he does, and as a parent, I can only try to imagine what you are going through, not possible.
It sounds from what you have tried, that you have a tough road ahead of you, to try to get the surgery done with less trauma to your son. I think talking to a really good children's counselor should help your son and the sooner you start the better. They might also suggest starting him on some meds. for the anxiety attacks to try to help him calm down, before he goes to have it done. They will help him understand why it has to be done, that maybe you didn't think to touch on.
I think also that you might consider having someone cath him instead of doing this himself, or you and your husband could try to do this for him. It would help him to learn about it himself so he feels he is a part of helping himself to get well, instead of just allowing others to do this.
We don't know what he may remember about what happened when he was born when he got so sick his first year. But if he even has vague memories it could be enough to make a child his age to be very traumatized.!
I hope this will help him get through something that would be tough even for an adult , let alone a nine year old.
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