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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, #1 Just Answer Parenting Expert
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Just Answer Parenting Mentor, Emotional, Behavioral & Physical Issues. Babies to Teens.
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child being teased about height.

Customer Question

No Comment Added
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.
Answered via Just Answer Chat.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hello,

How old is the child?

What have you tried so far?

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
the child is 7yrs. he is very short and will not be tall dr. said his parents are short. he is so shy and introverted that this is a serious question. he has no self esteem. calls himself stupid
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Hello House,

Thank you for that additional info.

Who are you to the child?

Does he live with both parents?

What kinds of things does he like to do?

Are there any things that he does well?

Chase

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Reply to Ms Chase's Post: I am his grandma my daughter asked me is i could come up with a comeback. he lives with his parents. i have taken care of him while mom worked from 3 mos. to 3rys. mom not working any more. he likes to color print cards to grandma and grandpa, play computer games. good at math.
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

Thank you. Well, to start off with, if he's being teased or bullied then you should speak to the teacher or principal of the school to see if they can be more aware of what is going on. However, the botXXXXX XXXXXne is that if he will always be short, then this is something he will simply have to develop a thick skin about. We live in a society that rewards tallness and thinness, that can be very cruel to short people or heavy people.

What you will want to do is help him develop the things he is good at, and that will help build up his self esteem. When someone is good at something it builds up their self esteem. Don't let him shy away from sports, football teams, hockey teams, soccer teams all make use of shorter players.

Talk to him about being short, ask him how he feels about it. Ask him why he thinks people place so much emphasis on being tall. As him to tell you the pros and cons of being smaller/taller. Take this as an opportunity to show him how racism, size-ism, bigotry, etc, can hurt people.

Bullying is a real problem in todays school and many times the school doesn't know how to handle it, so they downplay it or try to blame it on the ones who are being bullied. Many times kids will bully to enhance their own position. He will need to learn how to act strong and not let comments about his size bother him, because if he's going to be short all his life there will always be people who will have something to say. Most of the time, even the "nice" kids - will either join in or do nothing. For one thing, they have their own position to worry about, and if they defend your child, they may become the new target.

As he gets older, the bullying can turn into real physical abuse, vandalized lockers, obscene graffiti, vicious rumors, having their belongings stolen or destroyed, internet slander campaigns, sexual harassment, near-total ostracization and these are things that happen all of the time. Things that would be considered "violent crimes" if the public schools weren't held to a different standard. Bullying can make a child not want to go to school, to be sick all the time, to worry constantly, to make bad friendship choices, get bad grades, etc.

Talk to him, REALLY LISTEN to what he's trying to tell you. Do WHATEVER you have to do to protect your child, do not depend on the school to do it. If your child sees that you take his concerns seriously, he will be more apt to talk to you when there is trouble. A good book for him to read might be Judy Blume's "Blubber". Its a 4th grade book but he could try and read it, it captures that wolf-pack mentality that grownups typically seem to "just not get".

Look online for other books about bullying and teasing, about being short, about self esteem. It's not someone's height that makes them the person they are. Encourage him to do well for himself. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more

Warmly

Chase

Expert:  Ms Chase replied 6 years ago.

some comebacks

'I might be short, but you're ugly....at least I can grow taller"

"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce"

"i'm not short.. i just hang around with tall people"

"the best things come in small packages"

"i'll stand and laugh while your hit by lightening"

"Don't push me. . .I'll bite your knees off"

"I'm not short, I'm space-efficient"

"and how exactly does my height affect you? you dont see me complaigning about your huge nose/big ears now do ya??? (or whatever you know will offend them!)"

///////////////

Its important for him to learn to laugh about it. When people pick on you and you laugh about it, it takes all of the seriousness out of what they are saying. If they say something derogatory, you can say something like "that was cute, did you think of that all by yourself?" or "hahah that was funny, tell me another one" and they look stupid when they can't think of another, or if they do, just laugh it off "you're a regular walking clown huh?"

Chase

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