Hello and welcome to Just Answer !
Sounds like you have your hands full !
Has he always acted this way, or is it just recently ?
How is he doing in school ?
You say he's physically abusing you, how far has he gone with this ?
First let me address the physical abuse. It must not continue, someone is going to get hurt. Either tell him the next time that he gets physical, you will file charges on him. Do not let him continue to hit your husband or yourself . As much as I'm sure you love your son, his hitting is a wrong way to go. What if he hits a girlfriend, or a teacher then he will go to jail and have no choice.
Not going to school is also a bad sign, if he can't focus, take him to a doctor for tests, something could be wrong. I have dealt with young people that can play games but still either out of boredom, or is ADD or ADHD, and still can't focus on their studies.
Sometimes we have to play tough love with our kids. I believe you might be best to take him to a counselor and see what they say, playing around with drugs, isn't his solution, and its going to probably get much worse.
It would be my suggestion to go down and file unruly charges on him. It is against the law for him not to go to school, and if they would decide you are responsible they could file against you.
You could also check into a drug facility that takes kids his age if you think the problem is really bad.
If he is this bad now, another year down the road is going to bring a lot more trouble and misery for you, unless you do something now, after he is 18 someone is going to pay for it.
But he has done something ! If he hit you, then you can file assult charges, and if he has threatened you menacing also. I would suggest also calling Children's Services, they can assist you in getting help for him, and possibly other things too.
Unless he complies with what you tell him to do, let him know 18 is around the corner, and you no longer have to keep or support him.
I would also call the school and tell them to press truancy charges. You have to let him know you are serious. If he breaks things, then there's another charge. But you will have to do it, and not let him get away with it.
Sometimes that can seem like the best course to go, but something was suggested to me that I hadn't thought about, this is a whole family problem. Could you tell me what state and city you are from ?
All of you need to consider going in for counseling. The entire family. This just started really getting out of control 2 years ago, you said. But he had always been demanding.
You have all been dealing with the problem, we don't know what caused it, if he was ADD or ADHD, my colleague reminded me that it would have showed up before now.
So I'm going to suggest that you check into family counseling, and the other expert may have some other things to add, after we know where you live. If thats okay with you.
Thanks Terri for the help.
You are very welcome ! Come back to Just Answer anytime when a question is to hard to find a an answer, or you just need help ! We are here for you 24 hours a day !