Hello and welcome to Just Answer !
Has she ever been in trouble over alcohol before ?
You said she has never been in trouble at school before , what about at home ?
How long have you been dating your boyfriend ? Where is her father in all this ? Is he a part of her life ? Has she always tried to be the funny person or is this new ?
Anything you can add, could be of help.
She is at the age where her body is changing, most girls do at this age. And she might not be dealing well with it, as your others did.
You say she is having a little weight problem, all this adds up, and on top of it the problems with her father. Its possible she is acting out trying to act older in front of her friends to gain attention from them also. At this age its so hard being just a part of the crowd, and she is trying to find her place in the group. So trying to appear in the know with alcohol could be what her answer is to this problem.
You are right having the talks with her, she will need to have it reinforced that alcohol is not a answer, and that she could be in a great deal of trouble for feeding alcohol to other minors. The parents may even press charges on her.
It would be a good idea to lock all liquor up for awhile, until you can trust her again. Let her know that you are disappointed in her bad judgment in this situation and that it must not happen a second time.
Counseling would be a good idea, to see if dad's alcohol problem is causing mixed feelings in her also. I would also talk to her about her body changing and how it can also can seem a emotional thing, but that all girls go through it, boys as well as girls.
Perhaps it might even be a good thing to take her to a meeting where young people deal with parents that have an alcohol problem to see ways that she should deal with it when dad and his wife drink and fight, it should help her to understand it a bit more.
I'm here for you, if you need a ear to listen, or just more .
Warm Wishes, Danny
A two week time out I think would be in order. Also please consider the aa group for children whos parent drink, they can explain a whole lot of different way to deal with this.
Instead of the police at school consider the juvinile officers. I had one come down and actually put my my son in handcuffs and took him to his office to talk to him. It really scared him. I don't know if it would be the answer for your daughter, shes young. As her parent it would be your decision on what she can handle. If this continues, you might have to place unruly charges on her. Because we are responsible for our childrens actions. If anything has happened because of the others drinking as her parent you are responsible. She lives with you.
So I would show her that you love her very much, but it better not happen again. Ground her from the phone, games, etc. have her write a report on why it was wrong, and why it will never happen again.
Also remember your own youth, did you ever act out as she did ? Why ? With love and understaning, you can work through this.
Good Luck !