Your right on the mark. Your nephew needs help and the other family member's need to back off and make sure he gets the needed meds. I know from experience.
My son is now 19 he did not want to take his med. had to fight him, watch him take the med. could never just let him take on his own because he wouldn't. Get into the PINS program its an excellent choice. He needs to keep it up with the psychologist and psychiatrist because they will help him with the depression to understand why it effects him like it does.
The ADHA and depression goes hand in hand in many cases it did for my son, but help came to late with him, now he is dealing with deeper issues.
Another thing, get the doctor's to explain to all family member's why it must be done the way they recommend , its possible that they don't understand why or exactly what the condition is that he is dealing with.
If they are just being non-understanding, then mom and you will have to supersede what ever they think and just follow the doctor's rules and let the dad and anyone who has to do with giving him his meds.that it must be followed. In dad's case since he has weekend's you will probably need to have this enforced by the court's.
I can not express enough to get involved and keep it into place.
Would you like me to find you some studies on ADHD to help them understand more completely what he is dealing with ?
Or if you just have more questions on this or any help at all. I'm here for you !
There are a few other things she can try. As far as getting through to the judge, she will have to take documentation to the judge, letters from the principle. The psychologist and any other doctors that has seen the boy.
As a nurse I know you understand if the meds. are not taken, they can't help him. Depression, is I can not stress enough, in a boy his age, can commit suicide, and get in trouble with the law, drop out of school, and end up with drug/ and or drinking issues.
His father " must " be forced to comply to the rules, or he will lose his son, and visitation rights. I am not a lawyer, so I can't advise you on what the court may do. But I do know through my own experience with my own son. I had him charged for unruliness, they brought the school into it because when he was there he wouldn't even try, when he wasn't then it became a school truancy issue.
To make a long story short, in my sons case they put him in a place where he was forced to take his meds. and counseled on a daily basis, if he did not follow the rules then he lost privileges.
I don't know if the is the best route for your sister. But I do know if she wants her son to grow into a happy, healthy adult she needs to make a decision now. I will look and see what programs in New York are available to her.
But it will get worse if she doesn't address it now, rather than waiting and thinking the older he gets it will change. It won't , I have talked to count less other parents, if you can address it while the child is still young enough to be changed, he has a chance ! If you wait, it will only get more abusive for your sister, or he will sink into depression so deeply , he may never come out of it. And the other people down the road will pay for it, or your sister in the end will.
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Okay , these are sites some I know about through my own study and have helped me understand , some are new, and I will be taking a closer look at for future reference.
This is about the PINS Program and who is involved that should be able to tell you what you can do before it gets to P.I.N.S. and what other things may be open for you to try.
These next two are about Summer Camps that deal with ADHD kids. They have counselors, and since its geared to other boys his age, should put him in line to do what the others are doing, because it would be a good idea to follow others that have dealt with it also.
Also I can not understand a judge that would not be listening to a mom if she speaks up and says, Judge, my son is in counseling and is having problems at school, they say he is having depression, and his dad won't follow the rules the doctor has set down that he needs to comply with.
She needs to petition the court and let them know what is going on and bring every bit of documentation with her. She may even need to get a lawyer and make sure that they listen to her. I didn't have a lawyer, myself, because faced with all the facts the judge realized I was making sense and really listened to what I had to say.
If she feels she can adequately defend what she needs to have done and why, she should be fine. Maybe you could go to support her in seeing that she is being listened to and not being put down by her ex. or her son.
As far as Dr. Phil is concerned, he isn't part of our group. But if your psychologist is a doctor who deals with ADHD kids and be sure to check to see if he has a good track record with other kids he works with, then he should be fine.
And it never hurts to get a second opinion or third if you don't feel comfortable with the first two. As a nurse you should be able to pull a string or two and get a really reputable doctor in that area.
I was also reminded by another expert who has excellent credetials in this area . That most doctors reccommend that you let the childs body have a rest on weekends. So its not going to hurt him, in any dangerous way, if he doesn't take the meds. on weekends.
The important thing is that her ex. supports her about them through the week. Whatever is in the best interest of the child.
I wish you much luck in this and I really hope you can get the help he needs before its too late !
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