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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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Is it ok for son to live away from mom

Customer Question

My 15.5 year old son decided he wants to live with his gay father in phoenix. I live in Virginia. We are both loving parents and have never fought. We divorced when he was 5 because my ex was gay. The father in question now lives with his gay sig. other. I told my son his dad was gay about 3 years ago and he was very loving, compassionate and good about it. I am just worried because I know he needs and loves his dad and wants to be with him more. In the past he has lived with me and visited his dad for partial summers and christmas. If he lives with dad, I will only get to see him for a month here and there and perhaps less than that for the next couple months. Would it be ok for him if I flew him to me for at least 1 week a month? He is home schooled so his schooling is not a conflict.
He has told me he cant wait to come back to virginia with me, but that he wants to "spend the last 2 years of my childhood with my dad"
I would even be willing to move to Phoenix if that were best.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.

If your son is wanting to spend those last years with his dad. And dad is a good father you need to let him. But like you I would feel I didn't want to let him go from me. Sometimes though kids or young adults need that time to finish growing up.

If he agrees to coming home one week out of the month and you can afford it, by all means do so. If you decide to move, also think about how are you going to feel, uprooting yourself from all you know and are happy about. And check with him maybe he might want to keep ties to Virginia too. Butif you and dad have a good relationship that can make it easier for your son, by all means move. I know personally I wouldn't want my son, who I have raised for years to be suddenly gone accept for 1 week a month.

Its whatever you can handle, one day he grows up and he will have his own life. A wife a family. So make sure whatever your decision its one you can live with too.

If you have more questions on this , just ask, I will be happy to help !

Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
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