Are these your children? I'm asking because they are the same age, are they twins?
Who elselives in the house besides you?
Where do you think they got this from?
Changed them in front of which family members?
How old are you?
I would say it's time to stop letting them bathe together. I would also remove all the diapers. If someone brings a child that needs diapers then they should bring them. If they are in the house they will be too tempted. We're not talking toddlers here, we're talking 10 year old girls who are capable of understanding direction and command. Tell them that you will not tolerate this behavior under any circumstances, they do not run the house, you do. They are not to take a bath together, sleep in the same bed together, you may even want to tell them if they can't get it together they will have to sleep in separate rooms.
Touching other girls is absolutely intolerable behavior and you must make this as clear as possible to them. What they are doing with other children could be construed as sexual abuse and could possibly bring legal ramifications down on you for allowing it to go on in your home. Not to mention some parents may not want to involve the police and may take personal ramifications out on you.
I'll be honest with you, I have never, ever heard of a summer camp requiring children who are already potty trained to wear diapers, it's very questionable of them to make you have them wear diapers when they are not babies, perhaps even damaging to the child's psyche....I am shocked to the point that i might even consider contacting a lawyer.
Same with the babysitter. Who in the world told her to put 7 year old children in diapers? Are you telling me that both of these 7 year old girls soiled themselves in the mall? At the same time? Something does not sound right here. I feel like there is something you are not telling me or that there is something that those girls are not telling you. The odds that they would both soil at the same time, and the inappropriate behavior of the babysitter concerns me.
Yes, I would say that all of these things, taken into consideration, may have had an emotional and/or psychological impact on them. Removing the diapers from the home may help some, but I strongly feel that you will want to seek counseling for your girls. It is not abnormal for siblings to touch sometimes, but their forthrightness and total acceptance of what they are doing, combined with their age concerns me. I think you should seek help soon and try to figure out what's wrong before this gets any worse.
At this point I would suggest therapy for yourself and the girls. A therapist for you would be able to help you in your parenting and decision making processes. A therapist for the girls will be able to get to the root of their problem and fascination with diapers and touching. Your children should be in no position to question your decisions or negotiate with your rules.
They should not be touching each other and especially not other peoples children, NO EXCEPTIONS. This is not a negotiation, they are children, you are the adult. Their reaction of trying to kiss each other is proof that they are not taking you seriously. You have to decide on a form of punishment, and when they do these things, they must be punished consistently.
I have asked a few other people for their opinion on the diaper vs age question, and everyone I spoke to agreed with me, there is NO reason for a potty trained child to be put in a diaper or pull up. There are some children who wear pull ups to bed because they wet the bed, but to put diapers on a child for a trip is just irresponsible and lazy. Why is heavens name would your sister put a diaper on a 13 year old child? Because they don't want to stop as much???!? So, subject the child to the humiliation of soiling themselves, and potentially cause emotional damage, so that you can get where you're going faster? That makes no sense to me.
If the girls had potty training issues when they were younger, that's one thing, but at that age pull ups were really the only appropriate response. Not diapers.
I cannot agree with what your doctor said. A family doctor may not be equipped to deal with mental issues and should simply refer you to a doctor who can deal with those issues. I absolutely do not believe that you should be negotiating with your girls on these issues. Giving into them will only show them that they can get what they want by behaving badly. It's setting a disturbing precedence.
Seek help from a family therapist, someone who can treat you and your daughters, separately and together.