It sounds like you are burned out, hon....My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Also, I believe that it's the medication you are taking - Although, I am against Western Medicine - I do believe that it's important for many people - but, for the right reasons. It's easy for medical practitioners to write a prescription....but, some can go overboard. You may just need a readjustment in medication.
However, I believe we all have the power to heal thyself - and/or with the use of herbal remedies/flower essences. There is a flower essence called "Rescue Remedy" and it is for emergency purposes - when our body/emotions/spirit happens to be out of balance (for shock, stress trauma)- it helps to center one's self - to readjust "normally".....it heals!
Flower essences are dilute extracts of various types of flowers and plants that are used to treat people and animals. They are similar to homeopathic remedies in that they are diluted and potentized to make them more effective than just using the original flower as a herbal extract. The person who first developed the original flower remedies was Dr. Edward Bach, a famous English physician. He developed the Bach Flower Remedies when he was working as a homeopathic practitioner and devoted the last years of his life to researching and developing his remedies, from 1930 onwards. He wanted to find a simpler form of treatment that would not require anything to be destroyed or altered.
Stress, life changes, worldly events, can certainly make one feel overwhelmed.....it would help to just take a vacation.....you need quiet time, alone, to rethink, to get yourself back to "you"..You seem to have gone beyond your limits, that's why you feel like you're ready to scream.
Personally, I don't believe anything is wrong with you - you just need to put things back into proper perspective.
If you are able to, seek the care and treatment of a holistic doctor - who heals in body, mind and spirit - Take some meditation classes. Practice Yoga.....learn to breathe - inhale/exhale - relax!
If you are interested, you should try the flower essence - it's really a life saver - you will notice a huge difference in your life.
I hope that I have helped some. If you wish for further information, please let me know.
My very best to you.
Peace, Love & Happiness,
The Mystic Wave
Thank you for responding.
I'm sorry that you feel that my response was unrealistic.
Yes, there are other specialists here. I'm certain that someone will assist you.
Please take care.
First of all, let me say.. Been there done that, you are not alone.
2nd of all.. I believe there is hope!
I don't know how old your kids are. Do you think seriously that part of this may be Postpartum? Which can last a long, long time.
Plus you say you are seeing a doctor. Is it just a regular family doctor? If so, even though they can prescribe such medications, they are not as good as supplying the correct dosage we may or may not need. Finding a dosage is the main part of treatment if medication is what you need. (which is where a Psychiatrist whom prescribes medication is helpful. Sometimes going from one kind to another can be worse for us I think, but I am not a doctor (but I know how I felt when I went thru all that)
Except other than what you are doing by seeking advise. I did leave hubby and kids. That was 7 years ago and boy oh boy did I lose soooo much. It may not feel like much right now because you just want to run. But once you do run then what? Would hubby let you back? Or would he say forget it? My hubby said forget it and he got all 3 kids.
Even though we ended up with a divorce at that time nothing seemed to matter anyway. Deep down it actually made me feel worse.
Then one day I realized I had to do for me. Had to eat, work all those things I had taken for granted. But thats what I wanted right? Home life was way too much thats why I was on my own. So I started to do for myself.
I finally got a job, started to just make a small life for myself. But I still had kids.
So after a long time, I started to talk w/the kids again. (mind you they were younger then) but I messed up my future and had to start a new life. It was very ruff. I did end up moving back near the kids and started seeing them.
Now 7 years later, I am finally remarried. (1 year last month)(thank god to another terrific man) I did get my oldest son about 2 years ago. And now my daughter will be here Saturday and she is going to live with me too now.
So I think if I had to do this whole situation over, and I have talked this over with my ex a couple of years ago. He just said I should have went away for a short time. Like get my own place, see how it is and to go clear my head rather than leave (I went away 800 miles (different state)
So since the way you are feeling is how I felt way back then. Your thoughts of wanting to leave will get stronger. You need to act on those feelings now with support of your husband and family. If you love your kids and your husband then tell them. But also let them know you need a vacation so to speak. Hopefully you are in the situation you can go and still have a place to come back to when the time is right. It doesn't make you a bad person. So don't ever let anyone tell you that it does. You are human we all deal with things in a different way. I do believe we have to do what is right within ourselves before we can be happy with someone. Follow your heart, not your head. Talk to hubby see what your options are (as far as child care, money, time away) go and get yourself healed. In order to be OK you need to have a solid foundation of stability, or anything you put on that foundation (kids, hubby, life in general) will tilt and then eventually break. (thats why a strong foundation is needed) Once you have that foundation, you will do just fine.
I hope you can understand what I am saying, I know I am trying to put 7 years into a few paragraphs.
I wish you all the best hun..
if you have yahoo, you are more than welcome to contact me [email protected]