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I'm sorry to hear about the herpes transmission. Type 1 herpes can be transmitted to the genital through either oral sex or with saliva from the same person. Most commonly this happens when someone uses saliva as a lubricant for masturbation. Most outbreaks last less than 14 days. Taking an anti-viral can shorten the duration. The recurrence of type 1 herpes on the genital varies greatly. Some people will never again have an outbreak after the first transmission while others will have more trouble. It depends on the strain of the herpes, their immune system and possibly dietary factors. For some people, high arginine foods cause herpes to be more active. The most common such foods are nuts and oatmeal. Most recurrence outbreaks last no longer than 4-7 days. Transmission rates are lower with type 1, below 10% and most likely below 5%. Taking the supplement lysine can help lower activity of the virus.
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Usually a purely herpes outbreak won't come on for 3-7 days after exposure. So the immediate symptoms weren't herpes the the ones that came on a few days later would be consistent in timing. If a woman performed oral sex on a man and then he inserted his penis inside a woman, the saliva can be transferred that way. Or if he performed oral sex on her, it could transmit from his mouth is he is herpes type 1 positive too. About 50% of people are herpes type 1 positive, so it's not rare. Herpes swab tests are the most accurate test possible if they are positive. They have a fairly high false negative rate but not false positive rate. With suppressant medication, transmission drops to about 1%. Condoms help some but because the virus gets into secretions easily, often the condom isn't good enough if "juices" get on the testicles or other genital skin which does commonly happen during sex.
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