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Hello, I'm Ted Manos MD, board certified obgyn. Your description of the symptoms and sequence of events points to the herpes virus that was present years ago, then dormant and activated by recent intercourse. It's really the only source that would be so uncomfortable. I'm not able to call you as I'm not in an area where I can do so with all the noise. I can answer any further inquiries by text
Good question. There are two strains of herpes virus type 1 and type 2. Type 1 is usually found in oral lesions causing "cold sores" that must be passed on by kissing initially. Type 2 is the strain seen in the genital area. There has been type 1 that can infect the genital area. There are blood tests that can detect which strain by looking for the antibodies to the virus and type.
There is no cure. There doesn't appear to be anything serious about the virus. I had the "cold sore" lesion off and on when I was young. As a physician I learned about the virus and how they occupy skin nerve endings and once they are activated and start as a lesion they get worse if we get upset about it or always touching it. Since I learned to ignore it when it starts to feel sensitive and pinch, it has never erupted. I advised my patients to ignore the genital lesions and not worry and that worked. If it been a long dormant interval it probably erupts more. If there was a cure, it would be too expensive and cheaper to let the lesion or lesion heal and go back to the dormant phase.