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Hi, It's Dr. C. Board certified Ob-gyne with 30+ years of experience. I can help you today.
I'm sorry you're having trouble with these cuts. It's still possible they are related to herpes. Sometimes herpes is "atypical". That means it doesn't look like typical herpes. The only way to tell is to have a viral culture swab taken from the cuts when they are present. That plus a blood test for IgG HSV Type specific titers. That will tell if you've had exposure to herpes in the past. If the herpes blood titers and cultures are negative, the cuts aren't likely to be related to herpes.
Another common cause of such cuts is low estrogen levels. This can be seen in women on birth control pills or other forms of contraception that shuts down the cycle. Especially if the woman herself is thin, the estrogen levels can get low and the tissue thin and easy to tear. The treatment in that case is topical low dose estrogen with cream or a tablet placed inside the vagina twice weekly.
So it's time to get help from a gynecologist in figuring this out. If lesions are present at time of exam, they can take a viral swab culture. If no lesions are present, they can start with the HSV IgG blood titers. Once those are back, you'll be on your way to figuring this out.
I hope this was helpful. Let me know if I can clarify anything.