I'm reviewing your post now.
from the sounds of it...
you need surgery
however, the surgeries you need really require you to be done with childbearing.
If you are still planning on having children you might discuss the use of a pessary for the prolapse and incontinence.
If you are done with having children you will benefit from suspension such as a sacralcolpopexy, anterior and posterior colporrhaphy.
The colporraphy surgeries without mesh last about 5 years.
In addition to those procedures, sounds like you would benefit from a mid-urethral sling as you describe stress urinary incontinence.
Now, given the trouble you have gone through this far...I would encourage you to seek a urogynecologist who absolutely specialize in all of these procedures.
It's surprising to me the response of your gynecologist though, as these are all fairly common procedures.
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