New Zealand Law
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The lawyer for the child is being cautious, and therefore making the suggestions about contact with you while your son is there. However it is really up to your son and DIL to set the terms, and they should have a FDR Family mediation in which they can discuss terms of contact and who can see the children. The lawyer for the children doesnt have the power to stop contact or make restrictions, but can only recommend to the court. Your DIL should tell the lawyer to back off until the mediation has resolved these issues. The problem was your son being there but if has contact with supervision, then you could be be the supervisor if he is present.