Thank you for trusting your question to JA today. I am a licensed attorney with over a decade of law practice and over 20 years of experience in the legal field. I’m happy to be of assistance.
Unfortunately, the award of military retirement is not about need or being deserving. It is considered an asset division. So, it's not like alimony, which can be addressed based on the financial needs of either party.
Instead, it is looked at more like the division of equity in a home. If the home was bought and equity earned during the marriage, each gets half (at least, the court can choose to do so). The problem with retirement division is that it looks like alimony, because it involves monthly payments. That is because it is impossible to really determine the monetary value of your retirement...because it is based on the length of your life, which is not yet known. So, instead of a lump sum division, they do a percentage division.
So, the argument about her need isn't going to avail you any legal relief here, because retirement division (for military or civilian forms of retirement, where this happens also) is not based on need.
Your argument concerning adultery and abandonment certainly could and should have been raised at your initial divorce, but if you were divorced in a "no fault" divorce state, it doesn't really have to be taken into consideration and nothing in law requires that a court discount an asset division based on adultery.
Finally, to reopen a closed divorce for matters that are not about alimony or child support (need based awards that are intended to be revisited), you have to basically establish fraud that led you to relinquishing the right to make a particular argument during trial.
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