I am very sorry to hear this and you are correct unfortunately that it only takes one spouse to end a marriage. Some judges will order mediation/counseling but that is not very common (unless it relates to co-parenting issues, versus reconcilation). Most judges feel that divorce is a last resort so a spouse would have considered all alternatives before filing, and that if they rejected counseling, forced counseling does not offer much hope.
So for property, the court will divide marital property (property acquired during marriage, except for by gift/inheritance) in an equitable manner- this means fair and just, which is not always equal. This is authorized pursuant to statute 61.075 and the court will consider the following factors (you will see the last one is a "catch all" so the court can pretty much do a split as the particular judge sees fit; many tend to a 50/50 division):
(a) The contribution to the marriage by each spouse, including contributions to the care and education of the children and services as homemaker.
(b) The economic circumstances of the parties.
(c) The duration of the marriage.
(d) Any interruption of personal careers or educational opportunities of either party.
(e) The contribution of one spouse to the personal career or educational opportunity of the other spouse.
(f) The desirability of retaining any asset, including an interest in a business, corporation, or professional practice, intact and free from any claim or interference by the other party.
(g) The contribution of each spouse to the acquisition, enhancement, and production of income or the improvement of, or the incurring of liabilities to, both the marital assets and the nonmarital assets of the parties.
(h) The desirability of retaining the marital home as a residence for any dependent child of the marriage, or any other party, when it would be equitable to do so, it is in the best interest of the child or that party, and it is financially feasible for the parties to maintain the residence until the child is emancipated or until exclusive possession is otherwise terminated by a court of competent jurisdiction. In making this determination, the court shall first determine if it would be in the best interest of the dependent child to remain in the marital home; and, if not, whether other equities would be served by giving any other party exclusive use and possession of the marital home.
(i) The intentional dissipation, waste, depletion, or destruction of marital assets after the filing of the petition or within 2 years prior to the filing of the petition.
(j) Any other factors necessary to do equity and justice between the parties.
For military pensions, the court is allowed to award the non military spouse a portion of the pension-the portion that is accrued during marriage. It needs to be set forth in the decree, and must state either a specific amount, a percentage, or a manner in which an interest may be determined (ie a formula). The parties must have been married for 10 years minimum while on active duty.
As for custody and visitation, the courts will look to the best interests of the child; typically the primary caregiver is awarded custody, with the other parent receiving visitation. The courts tend to prefer to maintain the status quo, acknowleding that stability for the child is essential during divorce. Of course if it is not a safe or nurturing status quo, then that is not applicable.
Both parents, absent a court order to the contrary, have a legal right to the child; that is why most parents will try and get custody and visitation orders as soon as possible, as these are enforceable and can be enforced by the local court and the local law authorities. One can hire an attorney now to prepare the paperwork for custody/visitation, and they can arrange a peremptory setting, which means the court will prioritize the case since it involves a military member stationed overseas. The courts do prefer both parents to have ongoing and continuous relationships with both parents so they will encourage visitation in most cases.
Then there are issues of spousal and child support. Spousal support is very subjective. The court will expect both parties to work unless there is a reason not to. If the spouse is living with parents and thus has no rent, they will consider that too. If a spouse is purposefully un/underemployed the court can "impute" income-basically when making the calculations attributing a certain income to the un/underemployed spouse.
Child support is more definitive as there are statutory guidelines-here is a link to a calculator for an estimate
For considerations regarding military custody/visitation issues please see here and here
This explains the process of division.
For an overview of the various aspects of divorce please see here
Post here please
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