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He should discuss your issues with his command, but, as a reservist, if he volunteered for deployment orders, he can refuse to execute them.
That said, if he refuses orders, it can adversely affect his career. If the command agrees to pull his orders because of your issues, it will not adversely affect his career.
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If the command wants to allow him to stay behind, it can do so. Obviously, they are not cooperating. There is not a mechanism for requesting hardship to get out of a specific duty assignment. Instead, requesting hardship means, for example, because of a family health issue, you're unable to serve, i.e., you cannot meet your contract obligations and need to leave the service. If granted, you're given a good discharge characterization, but discharged for hardship.
If his immediate command is not cooperating, and you can document the family issues, he can make an Art 138 complaint to the commanding general of his unit and explain the reason he cannot deploy, and ask the general to intervene. The general doesn't have to agree to assist or direct the command to allow him to remain behind, but he does have to respond to the complaint.
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