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You need to contact DFAS, let them know that your wife passed and send them a copy of the death certificate. In that way, you can have any further premiums taken from your account and have any premiums that you have paid during months when she was deceased refunded.
However, you would not get the entire amount you've ever paid back. it's a bit like insurance in that regard and for every month that she was alive, there was an eligible beneficiary and so payment was due and owing.
Again, you'll only be refunded for the time frame that you paid and she was deceased. You'll have any further payments suspended.
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