Thanks for the chance to help. I am an attorney with over 12 years military law
The answer actually has little to do with her waiving her rights. It is great for him (and you) if he will. But it is not required. At all.
Retirement pay ends on the death of the member. So if you marry and he dies, by law his pension ends. Period.
That said, there is an insurance program called SBP
or survivor benefit plan
. This insurance provides an annuity to the beneficiary in the event of the death of the member. The amount you get varies, up to 55% of his pension. The higher the percentage you pay to protect, the more you pay for the insurance.
In my opinion? It is expensive. I did not choose it for my family. If your spouse is in good medical health he can get the same protection at a much lower prices on the private market...and unlike SBP, you can modify private insurance..once you select SBP, after the first year you are stuck in it.
But to answer the question, can you get SBP? yes....so long as the court does not order it to her. If she waives her right to his pension, it would not make sense for the court to order he give her SBP.
He would have to sign up on his retirement and pay the premium out of his retired pay to name you.
You can read more about the costs of SBP here
Let me know if you have more questions about this...happy to help if I can