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She won't lose her right to the benefit based on losing the ability to make decisions for herself. Her capacity to make decisions is not where she derives the benefit.
Now, using the benefit can become a problem without a healthcare power of attorney or directive in place, so it is something that she should do. However, if she were to become incapacitated mentally, there are ways to become her agent after the fact. That is not an ideal situation, but it can be done.
Regardless, no her incapacity is not a triggering event for the loss of any benefits.
She did an advanced directive but we didn't make it to the attorneys office in time to do a power of attorney. She had a stroke and I have to be able to take care of some of her finances...pay bills, buy meds etc. I am worried that if I do guardianship so I can handle her finances she might lose some or all of her monetary benefits. Then if and hopefully she will come back around, she would be so upset if I lost her her benefits
Being placed under a medical guardianship is not one of the methods of losing those benefits listed anywhere.
Remarriage (for Tricare), purchase of insurance coverage outside of Tricare. These ar the types of things that make you lose the coverage.
Survivor benefits, if based off of his military retirement, also won't stop. They are not needs based. Now, if she is getting a survivor's pension, which is very small, becoming her guardian could adjust her income for purposes of that amount....but we're talking about $250 a month, at most.