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1. If the relationship outside of marriage is fine, then marriage is actually better. All of the fraternization laws exempt those that are married. It's actually the non-married period of the relationship that raises the legal issue. Fraternization is an "officer only" offense.
2. Again, it is the relationship outside of marriage that would be the issue, not marriage itself. The only thing that marriage might do is bring the pre-marriage relationship to the attention of command and if they had a problem with the pre-marriage relationship, they could choose to address that relationship even once you are married.
3. Obviously, the absolutely most safe thing to do is not be in the relationship, but as that is not a real option here, get married.
The Navy uses the exact same UCMJ as the rest of the military and fraternization is an officer only violation.
An unprofessional relationship is the only possible charge against an enlisted as, as you are not in the same branch, same unit, same command, etc., it isn't going to be invoked in that instance. It doesn't fit the more broad definition.
I'm sorry. I was taking my kids to the day camp.
And yes, you've essentially restated my position exactly.