Ma'am you have a few different issues all going on at the same time...let me see if I can address them separately
1. What you describe, it sounds like you have a court order, from the divorce, that orders he pay 33% of his retired pay to you. If your marriage
was 10 years or more that overlap his active service, then this court order will allow DFAS to garnish his pay
This is what you want...you want that direct payment, since it comes directly from DFAS to you...no need to worry about what he does or does not do.
I understand you are working with DFAS...and that they are moving slower than perhaps they should.
I would contact your congressional representative...this is within their role to help you...they can contact DFAS and ask what the hold up is...and I bet they can sort this out and get DFAS to do their job.
If you have a lawyer you can also ask them to contact DFAS...but if you are paying them by the hour, that simply increases your bill...so I would go to my senator or congressman first
2. He owes you money for all the months from the month he retired to today.
You can sue him and get the court to order he pay that money.
This is true regardless of if he starts to pay you now some or all of what he owes.
So you have some leverage...
If he is offering to pay? I would take it.
If you are worried about your address, get a PO box from the post office and have the checks sent there...or have him pay you via paypal or some other electronic service (instant and secure)
Just because he starts to pay you will not stop you from enforcing the entire amount he owed to the court or from asking DFAS to pay you direct
So you can do both...you can keep on DFAS to get them to start to pay you direct, you can take the money he sends you...and you can sue him for the money he owes you