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P. Simmons
P. Simmons, Military Lawyer
Category: Military Law
Satisfied Customers: 26562
Experience:  Retired Marine Corps lawyer and Veterans Services Officer (VSO) with 12+ yrs. of experience.
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Hello, would my Naval Officer, 0-4, husband be in any violation

Customer Question

Hello, would my Naval Officer, 0-4, husband be in any violation of military law if he engaged in online dating websites? I don't know and I want some information so I can determine if I should contact his command. After many marital problems, I left with our 2 children 2 months ago and this dating website membership started at that time. As far as I understand, since we are still married (just having marital problems) he would still have to conduct himself appropriately. Thank you.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Military Law
Expert:  P. Simmons replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for the chance to help. I am an attorney with over 12 years military law experience.


Ma'am you are correct, even though you are married, he has a duty to conduct himself, as a Naval officer, "above reproach"

So actively dating other women could be seen as a violation of Article 133, UCMJ, as "conduct unbecoming an officer and gentleman"

As well, if he has engaged in sexual intercourse, that can be charged as Article 134, UCMJ "adultery"

If your goal is to hold him accountable for his misconduct, you can contact his commanding officer. They can investigate and, if appropriate, prosecute him. This would likely lead to his removal from the Navy for misconduct.

But be careful what you ask for...you may well get it.

If he is discharged from the Navy for misconduct he will loose his right to a military retirement pension. And this can impact you as well (since if you divorce the court can order a portion of his pension to you...if he is kicked out? Then there is nothing for the court to award you). Also if he is kicked out, that could impact his ability to gain employment...which would translate to a lower support payment for you.

YOur call...it is illegal. But it may not be in your best interest to report.

P. Simmons, Military Lawyer
Category: Military Law
Satisfied Customers: 26562
Experience: Retired Marine Corps lawyer and Veterans Services Officer (VSO) with 12+ yrs. of experience.
P. Simmons and other Military Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you psimmons. I'm now in a non-military city and want to ask his command for financial support (at his current duty station), but my attorney is not very helpful when it comes to the military issues related to trying to file and get support. Since he's already solicitating himself as single, I do not feel bad asking for the much needed financial support so that I can establish a new home for myself and the children through this process.
I have 2 further questions:
1) Do you think I can fight this divorce/custody battle ahead effectively without a military experienced attorney?
2) Are there any resources or sample letters requesting financial support from the military (Navy) service member for this interim period in which I do not have a court order? My attorney seems clueless about this (told me to write one), but another attorney from a military town said they make these requests on behalf of their clients all the time. I need a regular monthly support payment so I can rent a home for us as soon as possible.
Thank you
Expert:  P. Simmons replied 1 year ago.
You do not need a "military" attorney to do this...you simply need a lawyer who understands Title 10 US Code Sections 1408, 1062 and 1072 as well as Title 10 US Code Chapter 73 (Survivor Benefit Plan)

Taken together, these sections of the US Code provide the law that allows the state divorce court to provide a portion of the military retirement pension to the former spouse.

You want to make sure your lawyer understands each of the sections above.

Other than that? It is just a divorce.

But I must say, if your lawyer is telling you to write a demand letter? I would get a new lawyer. Yesterday. One who understand the law I cite above.

Now...as for support while the divorce is pending? Take a look here

Here is the link

This is the Navy Regulation that covers this. If you contact your spouse's commander and let them know that the spouse is not following the rule? I expect the commander will engage and order him to do so. I that does not work? My next call would be to your Congressman...they can help ensure the Navy follows its own rules



Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'd like to comment on the second portion and the link you provided;
This is the exact document I forwarded to my attorney prior to my initial consult (so he could read and discuss since this would be my first necessary hurdle). I thought I had a good consult and retained this attorney, but was a bit disappointed when told to just write the command myself (with no further guidance or discussion about this link...as if maybe he never read it). On the other hand, another attorney, like I mentioned in military city, said they write those all the time.
I'm intimidated to contact his command and don't want to be the point of contact. I'd rather have a professional letter from my attorney requesting support. Can my attorney get these sample letters from other attorneys? Or guidance from somewhere if he's not familiar with this? Maybe I need to request this from him again and ask him to write the request as this link states. This is definitely new territory for me, but I expected an attorney to be comfortable and competent with addressing these situations. Thank you for any additional feedback. It will help me decide how to approach my attorney this week.
Expert:  P. Simmons replied 1 year ago.
THere is not a "standard letter" for this...but it is not complex...the lawyer would simply write and state that the sailor is not following the rules, please make him do so or words to that effect.

But frankly, I would do this yourself. You are going to get a lot more attention if you contact the commander, as opposed to having your lawyer do so. That is my experience...commanders tend to hand off requests from lawyers to their lawyer...where they tend to take personal attention to requests from spouses.

But if you want the lawyer to? Again, it is not complex and I would reengage and ask that they do so.

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