Hi, Let's keep this in perspective! Your brain is taking on a whole crazy anxiety road with her response, and unfortunately, as you said clearly above, your interpretation of what she said is n't actually what she said. Anixety will do this - it is prone to allwoing for easy misinterpretations sdo your job is always to steop back and seek the ?"obhectiuve" or fact-based piece of the puzzelt hat anxiety cleraly ignores.
Here would be some of the facts that you need to pay attention to
- You "have no problem with your size or your chemistrty."
- things have been "going great".
- you have an active and healthy sex life with your wife
- Your wife said it felt the same as it always does.
- you suffer from anxiety/OCD whi make you sometimes overly sensitive to these sorts of issues
- you were feeling stressed and not your usual self.
- Men's erections vary in size from time to time as part of your moral sexual response
- You have felt this bad before, and perhaps worse, so while the pain this time feels catastrophic, you have conquered such blows before and are able to do so again.
- Can you add more????
I hope you know fully that considering permanent responses to your temporary anxiety flare would be a very poor choice, considering the family you would be leaving behind. So don't let your anxiety"win" by even allowing it to contemplate such acts. When you do, simply push those thoughts aside rather than giving them any allowance to run free, noting that you feel bad but can and will overcome and life will go on and be good again. Remind yourself that you are very strong but also afflicted with some conditions that can quickly lead you astray, but that you won't let them take you down a path of utter despair because you choose to lean on facts and kleep your anxiety in check in doing so.
This is tough one and a tough disorder that inevitably has a cyclical nature. I absolutely promise you that this immense pain is REVERSIBLE and will fade, even though it can take some time. Don't shut down now - keep talking to your wife about how you feel and always always keep yourself safe, running to the nearest emergency room if you don't end up pulling out of this. Keep your phone nearby too, 911 is minutes away and can protect you from doing something that is simply not a justifiable response given the actual events that occurred recently. \
HANG IN THERE - this will fade!!