Hi, thanks for reading!
& adhd, slight ocd (my mom has severe) and recovered bulimic & rape survivor. Wow, that sounds really bad as I've never written that all out. I've always been 'the favorite' excelled in school. I also always excelled at work, then become frustrated and get fired or laid off or my favorite: I get 'chosen' or rewarded for my great work with the failing role or failing clients.
Current: Lost 2 jobs back 2 back. Most recent company relocated me from NYC. Lack of jobs & low pay, I'll likely have to relocate (back) to NYC from Fl. Logistically, I'm at my parents in Philly so I can readily interview NYC and Philly.
I'm in tech sales working in volatile startups... So it's not completely a shock. I'm open to new areas & have networked but am not following through- almost paralyzed by fear or something... I'm also 31 & single, so potential to meet a partner etc is also weighing on me.
I've taken personality tests & I am suited for sales as, ESFJ.
I've also scored high for depression and anxiety and very highly for stress
I'm back on Birth control to help stabilize my hormones & have buspirone (don't take it).
I workout intermittently and am commuting to NYC 1/2 marathon this March (my birthday). I've recently began practicing yoga.
I know what I need to do, am still interacting with family and friends daily, but am struggling to kick my ass into gear...and go for days without showering or leaving the house.
Is there something I'm missing for a quick fix to rally and pull through or has it just been too much, so I'm shutting down to protect myself?
I feel like:
1. I want to run away from my life
2. I'm terrified that I'll land then the shoe will inevitably drop again
3. That I'm constantly waiting for my life to start
I'm thankful to have found this resource as I've searched (unsuccessfully) for many free support or Meetup groups.
I look forward to your response and am hopeful you can help me.
Bruised not broken