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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2927
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
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OKMH14211 Before an 8 month Mil. Deployment, wife displayed

Customer Question

OKMH14211 Before an 8 month Mil. Deployment, wife displayed slight insecurity issues. The day of my return when met together in Hawaii, she was immediately, irrationally and oddly insecure. Waitress came to table, shed cry. Accused constantly of looking at other women. Confronted her kindly, started back up 15 minutes later. It was strange. She looked her best then. Completely ruined our first vacation and first days back together. New hair, lost weight, etc. What could honestly be the problem?

Going through a divorce now.

Submitted: 18 days ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 17 days ago.

Thank you for your wonderful service!

It can be very hard on your wife with you gone and in that time of absence her mind was free to wander and fill it in with worry and fear that you would find someone else. This isn't uncommon and in addition to that worry, she may also worry about your safety while being deployed. She can feel better with a lot of reassurance from you and care taking and remind her how you love her. and your actions too are important....listening, holding, cuddling are all great ways to provide the safety and comfort she needs. But all of this becomes a moot point if the marriage is ending...is that your desire of hers?

Customer: replied 17 days ago.
Its both of our desire at this point. Ever since then 2years later her insecurity never stopped. Reasssurance was the point that I made happen. She said it helped, put her actions and behavior said otherwise. The last straw was she bought tickets for a football game from the idea of another man which contradicted what shed do if I had done half of that. She was wondering where he was sitting, etc. I have always suspected some type of cheating and gud could be the cause of it. Whats your opinion?
Customer: replied 17 days ago.
She said to me how great of a guy he was. I got bothered. She mumbled in the stands " Its always my fault". I served divorce papers soon after. This is out of pure curiosity as she will not come clean when asked or try to talk about it.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 17 days ago.

It is quite possible that she began to have feelings for him...I don't know that she cheated but maybe had some mild interest and was projecting those feelings onto you by worrying that it was you that was cheating. She may have been scared by her own feelings for him.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 17 days ago.

Let me know how else I can support you. If all good for now please take a moment to click the rating faces to rate my support. You are not charged again for doing so, but without it, I do not receive credit for my work. Thanks for your understanding in that.