Thanks for being so open. Have you thought about going to a group such as Al Anon to get some support? In addition to that it sounds like you have have gotten to the point where things need to change and step out of the enabling role...al anon also helps with seeing those patterns and finding new ways to relate. One of the hardest things for a family member to do is to set a boundary for themselves and stick to it. Is your boundary that if she doesn't get treatment then the marriage is over? If so, what is your fer around setting that boundary for yourself?