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Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience:  Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
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I have been with my partner for almost a year now. In that

Customer Question

Hi,
I have been with my partner for almost a year now. In that time she has told me that I don't show her enough love/affection. She doesn't feel like I love her and she is scared that I would rather someone else. Over this period she has become more and more possessive and insecure, to the point where I cant really do anything without her and when I do, I come home having to explain everything that happened....and I mean everything.
It has now got to the point that I am constantly on edge and anything I do or say can start a huge argument and days of her being depressed.
Tonight, she is in our bedroom crying, after screaming at me for "looking at another girl" while she was driving us to dinner. Neediless to say, we didn't end up making dinner...
A back story to her is she grew up in not a very loving family with a depressed mum and an abusive father.
I guess what I'm looking to find out is there something I change to make fix this or has she got issues that stem further than me...as she completely blames me.
Thanks
Submitted: 25 days ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Therapist Leslie replied 25 days ago.

Good morning and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area of the United States.

Ohhhh sweet soul, this is very difficult and I imagine incredibly hard on you and the relationship. Your girlfriend has abandonment issues and is terrified of loosing you. It sounds like you are really all she has in her life, so she holds on so tightly.

Sadly, though, this will be the very thing that will cause the relationship to end. This is, no doubt, far to difficult to endure from your end. I imagine it leaves you beyond exhausted.

Please know, sweet soul, this is not about you. These are her issues.

Would she consider seeing a therapist to work through some of the issues from her past? Can you very very gently suggest this? If the thought of this overwhelms her, perhaps she would be open seeing a therapist together?

I also recommend checking out these articles on attachment styles in relationships:

http://www.psychalive.org/what-is-your-attachment-style/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship

Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.

Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

Expert:  Therapist Leslie replied 20 days ago.

Good evening,

I hope you are doing well. I just wanted to check in as I haven't heard from you. Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can assist you with?

i gently ask you provide a star rating so I may be compensated.

Take good care and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

Expert:  Therapist Leslie replied 16 days ago.

Good evening,

I hope you are doing well. I just wanted to check in as I haven't heard from you. Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can assist you with?

i gently ask you provide a star rating so I may be compensated.

Take good care and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie