Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.
My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area of the United States.
First and foremost, sweet soul, congratulations on your recent sobriety. This is truly wonderful and I'm sure a bit fragile at times. It is a result of hard work and believing that life can be different....and please know it can. This is the first step toward wholeness and you are starting a new journey.
Sadly it sounds like you have an intense trauma history that cannot be dealt with on your own. Please, I beg you, begin working with a solid counselor who specializes in PTSD so you can begin the long and slow healing process.
Secondly, I would work with this counselor to have a full psychiatric evaluation to see if perhaps temporarily taking medication may be helpful in starting your journey.
Sadly your family cannot be a resource for you as they were such part of the pain. They do not understand the depth of your trauma, nor do they choose to take responsibility for it. I am sorry and please know this is a loss to grieve...the lost of parents you can depend on, family members you an trust and support when things feel hopeless.
Once you are feeling a bit better, it may make sense to sit down with a career counselor and determine what next steps you should take. It sounds like you have started pursuing things in the past but somehow lost momentum. Please work with this individual in creating a clear step-by-step plan to allow you a career that provides some financial freedom for you.
Congratulations on having clear boundaries by separating yourself from parts of your part that were unhealthy. This takes incredible courage and is an amazing start for a much healthier future.
“Tough times don’t last – tough people do.” Repeat this to yourself as often as you need to. From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story – a story that says,“I learned and I survived.” There are moments when troubles enter your life and you can do nothing to avoid them, but they are there for a reason. Only when you have overcome them will you understand why they were there. So be brave and press forward. You will not see the light at the end of the tunnel until you walk through the darkness. Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided. Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have. Warm regards,Therapist Leslie