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Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 537
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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My granddaughter is 9 years old in 3rd grade. She cries

Customer Question

My granddaughter is 9 years old in 3rd grade. She cries whenever she does not understand her math. She holds it in in school and lets it out at home. She cannot remember anything from her day when she returns home. I asked more, this will cause her to sob and say I just cannot remember. She is removed from the class area with 3 other children and helped in math. She has no friends and neither do her parents. Her mother is a hoarder and her dad is emotionally unstable. The mother leaves every weekend to be with her old boyfriend and the dad does not want to divorce and be alone.The girl is beginning puberty as well. The girl needs help.
Submitted: 3 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Linda D. replied 3 months ago.

Welcome to JA. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in NYS. I am preparing my reply and will post in one moment.

Expert:  Linda D. replied 3 months ago.

Oh dear child, she certainly does have some challenges in her life with her parents behaviors and mental health issues. BUT she does have you, her grandmother and that is so important. There was research done on groups of adults who when they were children were very vulnerable to crisis, trauma and family dysfunction. These adults had all overcome their childhood to become relatively well adjusted, successful individuals. The one variable the researchers were able to determine made the difference is that they each could identify ONE emotionally available, stable adult in their lives as children who was there for them and believed in them. One of the reasons that children are over emotional and also can not remember details of their day/life is because they are on emotional overload trying to cope with what is going on in their lives. They are in a state of emotional survival and can only process so much data from their day. Time and attention from you by phone, cards, letters and face to face time that is positive and uplifting is really important for her. Also every school system has a team of either psychologists, social workers and/or counselors to meet the emotional/mental needs of the children. If it is possible, it would be excellent for you to call her school as her grandmother to share your concerns. You could request that she be given some counseling time to process and vent her feelings. Is this something you could possibly do? I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

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