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Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 632
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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I am still in the process of coming to terms with the loss

Customer Question

I am still in the process of coming to terms with the loss of a job (forced to retire earlier than I had planned).
I developed a problematic relationship with a new supervisor. By the end of my time with her, she reached
the point where she not only intentionally lied to me, but seemed totally self-satisfied in doing so. In fact,
I think it can be accurately said that she lied in order to set a trap for me -- she believed that I would protest
being lied to (and even though I had email proof that she had lied to me) that my protest (which was
done in a totally temperate way) would be considered the inappropriate conduct, not her intentional, premeditated dishonesty.
Could you please give me some kind of insight into what kind of person I might have been dealing with -- to lie when backed into a corner might be bad enough but to cold-bloodedly lie as part of a plot seems much more egregious to me.
I had another incident in which this same person acted sadistically toward me -- she treated me very friendly and optimistically right before she handed me an evaluation downrating me -- giving me the impression by her very upbeat behavior that she was going to be giving me good news. When I went into her office after that in shock, she stared at me cold-bloodedly.
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Linda D. replied 6 months ago.

Welcome to JA. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in NYS. I am preparing my reply and will post in one moment.

Expert:  Linda D. replied 6 months ago.

Hello, thank you for waiting for a response to your question today. I am really sorry to hear that you were treated in this way by your supervisor. This is unfortunately not the first time I have heard of this very inappropriate behavior happening in the workplace. It is difficult to assess another person's motives and or personality type without meeting with them directly. However, that being said the workplace creates a very competitive environment of justifying the means to gain the end result. It sounds like this new supervisor lacked experience and finesse in being a supportive, participatory manager. Instead she presents through your description as passive aggressive and with some issues involving anger and hostility toward you. I am sure you did not deserve this type of treatment and then in addition you are now dealing with a retirement you did not plan on. How are yo coping? Do you have a support system in place of people who can help you process this? This is a powerful time in your life of significant change and also opportunity and can bring a great deal of fears and anxieties along with it. I am glad you reached out for help. I am here for you. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

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