Hello and thanks for writing and for your patience waiting for an answer. My name is***** question does not sound strange at all but I can tell from your words how excruciating this situation has been for you and your family. It seems inconceivable when we raise our littles that there could ever be anything at all that could sever our connections to them. Sadly, mental health professionals well know that mental illness (and substance use) are among the few things that can wreak such chaos and havoc on a family. I am so sorry this happened to yours.
The National Institute of Mental Illness (Nami) is the best source for helping you locate information and support in regards ***** ***** illness. Their goal is to support everyone affected by mental illness including families. Try their search page for groups that may be near to... http://www.nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-Programs/Nami-Family-Support-Group I do think a lot can be gained from joining a support group but they are not always readily available so i'll keep fingers crossed there is one near to you.
In addition to the support groups, I would also recommend individual counseling to you and your husband. Counseling can be so effective in helping people cope, problem-solve, think objectively, express/release/process emotions, educate, etc. i recommend you consider counselors who have comfort with personality disorders as hey will relate to all you are going through. this is my favorite site for locating great counselors... https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/?utm_source=PT_Psych_Today&utm_medium=House_Link&utm_campaign=PT_TopNavF_Therapist
Also, there are some great books as well as some online support communities that may be beneficial to you...
I am so sorry your family is suffering to live with the unconscionable and destructive behavior of your daughter. The best short-term and long-term coping strategy for this is to come to accept that you had/have no control over your daughter's behavior nor ability to change it. While she is sick, she is also the one who has made these choices and for that, you have done the absolute right thing to protect you and your family and disconnect from her. I know that is absolutely intolerably painful but it must be accepted as your reality. Inching towards acceptance will ultimately grant you the peace you so desperately seek. With the right support and continued fight, you and your husband can live through this.
I wish you strength!! Let me know if you'd like to talk more,
Hello, I noted this question was still open and wanted to see if I could provide further assistance before you were willing to rate my services? I know times are tough and I am here for you, just let me know.