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Ask Linda D. Your Own Question
Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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Are you a pshycologist? wow cool. Well I have severe

Customer Question

hi, are you a pshycologist?
JA: No. I'm the Psychologist's Assistant.
Customer: wow cool. Well I have severe problems that I have had since I was a kid. Addiction to the personal problem that Joe Zychik talks about. I never thought it was bad until I became Mormon. Now I am trying to stop and I can't. I don't have a computer or watch pornography anymore, but I can't stop it. \When I was little my babysitter who was a high schooler taught me how when I was only 10 years old. From that point on I did it every day, twice a day, and sometimes even in class. I have been doing it that consistently since I was 10 years old. But now I am Mormon and am trying everything I can to stop for my souls sake.
JA: Have you seen a doctor about this yet? What medications are you taking?
Customer: can doctors prescribe medication?
JA: Anything else in your medical history you think the psychologist should know?
Customer: I am not taking any medication. no
Submitted: 2 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I just can't stop. Medication would be good. Now it's only once a day general, to once every two to three days, and only at night; but it's still wrong.
Expert:  Linda D. replied 2 months ago.
Hello, my name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in New York State. Thank you for reaching out to Just Answer with your concerns. Is it masturbation and/or pornography that you feel you have become addicted to? Also, oftentimes underlying an addiction can also be untreated depression or anxiety. Do you suffer from either of these. I look forward to hearing from you and helping you with your concerns. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Hi, I do not suffer from anxiety or depression. My life is great. I am grateful sometimes, happy sometimes, I do get sad, I do get mad. I experience the full range of human emotion in such a way that I would not want my life to be different (except for my desire to eliminate masturbation). My only problem seems to be a physical chemical addiction that I cannot stop. I am fine throughout the day. I was addicted to pornography but I have eliminated that by getting rid of all electronic equipment. Now it only gets me when I'm going to sleep. As I am going to sleep my body has it's own agenda even though I may have just read the bible/book of Mormon or read hymns. Masturbation is NOT good. There are some doctors that say that it is ok or healthy, but I know people that were raised without it that do not do it...................More information that would help contribut towards an accurate answer or me is that I have done it since I was 10. It has ruined normal social romances that I might have had when I was younger, and even made it more difficult when I was older and did start to have girlfriends whom I would have intercourse with. I started doing drugs for a short stint (1/2 a year and marijuana, lsd, mdma, cocaine) I turned myself in. The drugs were four years ago and after I got baptized a year ago I don't even drink tea or coffee......................The change of not even drinking tea or coffee has brought great clarity to me in terms of how caffeine had previously affected me. Now it is solely masturbation as I am trying to go to sleep. I don't want to do it, I don't like it, I don't watch porn; it seems to only be the addiction. To me it is as if it is something that I can't get rid of no matter what. I can go without it for three days to even a week, but eventually it will give in. This thought process of guilt before god is coming to cause a sort of a depression though so the answer is that I am perfectly emotionally well balanced and stable until I masturbate at bed time. Then come sunday I don't partake of the sacrament and I am currently sad with guilt because of it.
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
It has caused GREAT trouble in my life especially where I might have dated younger girls. I didn't date girls in high school. I even did it in class in 5th grade and my teacher had to tell me to stop. In the military I did it as a stress reliever. It has affected the relationships I have been in directly. It is an illness that I have and it is sad and does cause me great grief. So yes it is causing a depression of sorts.
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
It has affected all three of the relationships with women I have been in since I was 18, and now I am 25 and am trying to stop for my souls sake to prepare for the implications with marriage. I only had relations with two of my 3 girlfrineds once. But with one of the only three women I have dated we had many relations, and they weren't enought At that time I was addicted to porn and it caused rough even angry and painful relations between her and I even though I cared about her (I was 18). Now that I am Mormon I know that it will directly affect my partner once I meet her (I do not have a girlfriend and will not have relations until I get married).
Customer: replied 2 months ago.
I've only had three girlfriends.
Expert:  Linda D. replied 2 months ago.

Thank you Johnathan for all of this good, detailed information. A behavior is a problem t the degree that it causes the individual problems or discomfort int heir lives. i can clearly hear how distressing this is to you. I would like to make some suggestions to you that may help you achieve your desire of being abstinent from masturbation. I will address the spiritual, physical and mental components that may lead to change for you/ i will prepare my recommendations to you now.

Expert:  Linda D. replied 2 months ago.

Taking spiritual action:

Johnathan, we are none of us evolved to perfection being the flawed human beings that we are. Our flaws and imperfections keep us humble and our ego's in check. We can only hope to continually make progress in the spiritual direction we hope/pray for. It is in our struggle and suffering that we can come to rely on and trust in God for his strength, forgiveness and kindness. I would like to suggest to you that you begin to pray each day for the willingness to overcome the behavior(s) you wish to change. And that God's will be done in your life, not yours. I like to suggest to my clients who are faith based people that they have a God jar and put whatever they can not handle themselves into the jar and surrender the problem or issue to their faith. Remember faith is a decision not a feeling.

Mental action:

It may be helpful for you to make a list of all of the things you get out of your continued behavior. We do not continue a behavior unless we get something out of it. So relieving stress is one thing you may get out of continuing to masturbate. You would then need to come up with a plan to compensate for each thing you get out of the behavior. For example; you would need to put a plan in place to compensate for what you are giving up. it would also be beneficial if you could let at least one other person know about the changes you are trying to make to gain their support and to build in accountability. maybe an elder at your church that you trust.

Physical action:

You may want to listen to a tape until you fall asleep, that is spiritual or empowering in nature for yourself. be patient with yourself, the more you beat yourself up for giving in the more power and energy you give to the behavior. You are making progress, you have over come a lot already, be grateful for the changes and know you are on the path to growing even more closer to who you want to be.

I hope these suggestions are helpful to you and make sense. Please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. i would appreciate you taking a moment to rate my service to you as this is the only way we are compensated. I truly appreciate it. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

Expert:  Linda D. replied 2 months ago.

Hello Johnathan, I am wondering how you are doing and if you found any part of my answer helpful to you. Please feel free to ask any other related question if you would like, i am here for you. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC

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