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Dr. David
Dr. David, Board Certified Physician
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 44810
Experience:  Experienced Physician trained in New York City. I'm ready to help.
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I am a 35 year old married man and I am having problems

Customer Question

I am a 35 year old married man and I am having problems sexually. I have a pretty great relationship overall with my wife except for the sex part which is non-existent at this point. The sex problem starts with me as I've completely lost my desire to have sex with her since our relationship has turned more into two parental figures vs husband and wife. I love her a lot though. Unfortunately almost all of my sexual encounters now take place between me and my computer screen. I tried quitting porn earlier this year for 4 weeks but my sex drive seemed to plummet completely which was scary so I started back up again. Last year I actually had a real encounter with another woman where I had problems getting fully aroused so we didn't have sex, but from that point I've been seriously alarmed. I haven't had sex with another woman in almost 10 years, so I'm not sure why I wasn't able to perform. I did have some guilty feelings in the moment and I was somewhat uncomfortable being with her as I really didn't know her well. I don't know why my sex life has gone completely south now but I don't like it at all and I need help to figure out what's going on. I do tend to overdrink on weekends but during the week, I don't drink. I'm in good shape, exercise regularly. I'm doing ok financially but my job is pretty stressful. I'm totally confused. Please help!
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. David replied 9 months ago.

This is Dr. David

excessive anxiety on weekends can cause you to not perform sexually

are you able to have an erection if you masturbate? if you are, then most likely your testosterone levels are normal.

excessive drinking on weekends over time can add on excessive weight and this can lead to more estrogen in your body which can affect your penis size and decrease your erectile ability.

excessive anxiety is the number one killer of erections there is.

you have to be relaxed and not worried about getting an erection to get an erection.

do you get morning erections?

Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Thanks for the reply Dr. I do get morning erections periodically but not every morning. I am also able to have an erection when I masturbate although I have had trouble getting one by just watching porn. I think I might be desensitized to it now. I have to start masturbating often times to get the erection. My doc said that my testosterone levels are marginally low but still within normal range. I have had a few tests highest was 409 and lowest was 283. What are your thoughts on improving my sex life?
Expert:  Dr. David replied 9 months ago.

the best thing you can do is to cut down and stop drinking on weekends.

and to continue to exercise and loose weight.

drinking plenty of water and getting enough sleep helps improve your sexual ability.

alcohol is a very common erection killer.

anxiety is a very common erection killer.

your brain can recover from over stimulation from pornography.

work on scheduling date nights with your wife once or week or something.

getting more emotionally close with her can spark new romantic interest in her and in you as well

this will help improve your sex life as well

let me know if you have other questions.

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