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Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 659
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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My daughter 18 is also planning to get a large tattoo on her

Customer Question

My daughter 18 is also planning to get a large tattoo on her arm. I support her completely. Horse Bmw college. Can I threaten to cut those things out?
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Linda D. replied 11 months ago.

Hello and welcome to Just Answer. My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist, I can hear how distressing this situation is for you with your daughters decision making with the tattoos. And I understand completely how difficult it is for you to watch her make decisions that will be permanent. Her developmental job at 18 years old is to see her self independently from you and to believe that she is competent enough to survive out in the world without her mother. This process she is in can often make it seem like she doesn't respect you or need you or care about what is important to YOU. And this can be painful, however it is a necessary developmental stage she has to go through. Making her own independent decisions, expressing her uniqueness, trusting herself. It would be much more effective if you could communicate not helping her financially as a threat but more that if she wants to make these decisions for herself without taking into consideration your concerns and waiting until she is older, then you feel she is ready to also find a way to support herself. This should not be a threat, but more of a concession that if she CHOOSES to get another tattoo when you have asked her not to at this time then you must honor her independence and ask her to start paying her own expenses as well. Does this make sense? Threatening or begging may make her dif ein even harder as a way to let you know she is in control. if she wants control over her life then help her to understand that comes with a great deal of responsibility, like supporting yourself. Linda D., LMSW, CASAC

Expert:  Linda D. replied 11 months ago.

Hello, I am checking in to see if I can help you any further. As a mother myself I know how challenging this can be for you. I am here if you need me. Please take a moment to rate my service to you as this is the only way we are compensated for our time. i would truly appreciate it and wish you and your daughter all the best. Sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC