Hello and thank you for writing to us. My name is***** am sorry to hear of your current situation as well as the difficulties you have faced in your past. It sounds like you have overcome a lot and have been a good role model for your daughters and this must make it hard to understand why they are so inhibited and limited in their own lives.
You ask specifically if you are meddling in their lives by seeking ways to support them in becoming more independent and creating a satisfying life. Considering they live with you and cannot yet support themselves despite their adult ages, this "meddling" is actually important despite the fact that they resent it. I do believe that open communication about your concern for their well-being is absolutely important. I would absolutely offer ideas like career/life coaches and counseling. You cannot control their actions as we as people can only control our own, but you certainly can express your concern and offer suggestions/encouragement/support etc.. What they accept and pursue is up to them. One good thing to bring up with them would surround what their goals are and where they see themselves in 5 years. Thought-provoking questions like this can open up good conversation and give you a better sense for how to help.
The other consideration I have for you is whether perhaps your daughters are suffering from depression. Depression could be a factor if they lack motivation, are socially isolated, feel hopeless or worthless, suffer from eat or sleep problems, etc. Untreated depression can cause a problem where people feel very stagnate and stuck. Again, open communication with them about how they feel could help you uncover some reasons for why things are this way.
In general, the fact that your two girls are adult age and without any motivation to live independently is concerning and it seems you agree. There may come a time that you have to chose a tough path to really push them to fend for themselves and this may involve ultimatums about seeking a life beyond your home or else you will not be able to continue to support them. I know that sounds harsh, but your utmost consideration of their needs may be just making things at home extra comfortable and easy and this may need to be shaken up in order to help push them to make positive change. So remember, you can't control their actions and decisions, but you can control yours and if things don't change within a certain timeline and you continue to worry about their chances of having typically satisfying lives that include careers, families. etc., then you may be left without choice but to retract some of your support.
I hope this helps and look froward to haring back from you if you wold like to continue this conversation. Please don't forget t rate my service today. If not satisfied, let's chat until you are.
Hello, I wanted to check back in and see if you had any additional comments or concerns with regards ***** *****? hope things are going in the right direction for you and your daughters.