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I am so sorry to hear this. It is never all one person's fault. What seems to set your husband off? When are things better? I want to help you but any further information might be helpful to me.
I personally feel its never too late but that is a decision only you two can make. It sounds to e you both have much to work on. First of all, I am wondering why he is coming in at 2 AM? Is it work or play? The fact is I cant change your husband, but possibly you can. I am not blaming you for anything but you are the one reaching out, so I must assume you are the one willing to change, I have limited information here but based on what I have suggest you learn what I call the thee keys to communication: 1) Say what you mean, 2) Mean what you say, 3) and never be mean in how you say it. From what I have just read that may do wonders. There almost never a good reason to yell at our spouse. Simply tell him the way it is gong to be and what the consequences will be otherwise and stick to your guns. Listen to what your husband has to say. Don't worry about what he is requesting that you cant do. Simply do what you can. What is the one small change you can make that will impress him? Is your marriage worth that change? I feel like you want this to work or you wouldn't be reaching out for help. I could probably help you more but with what information I have this is my advice. I really do believe these small changes might take you a long ways. Does that make sense?
I am so sorry to hear that. Remember, you are the only person you can actually control. Do your part and give him a chance to follow suit, Determine no hoe long and how far you are willing to go. Do give it a chance though.