Good afternoon and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.
My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area.
Ahhhh yes, personality disorders can be very challenging for not only those suffering but also those who are friends, colleagues and family members.
I imagine there is already a bit of resentment already built up as he is only working a few hours a week and getting the same salary as his brother who is obviously working more.
You didn't mention what type of personality disorder this family member has but it might make sense for the entire family to become as educated on it as possible. This will allow everyone to stay on the same page and minimize any possible manipulation or splitting on the part of the individual suffering with the p/d.
Could continuation of employment in the family business be contingent on this individual seeking psychotherapy and psychiatry assistance? I know this is done in many other organizations and imagine it will be met with frustration and even possible resistance as this is a family business but in all fairness to the other employees, it might be worth trying.
Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.
Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.
Oh dear, I imagine it would only be fair to pay him for the actual hours worked. I know he believes otherwise but the work is simply not getting done...which means, it is falling on others. It is unfair to all--especially since he has not stayed in treatment. In many ways, the company is enabling bad behavior but not holding him accountable.
Could his role be possibly changed to something else? Perhaps something a bit more behind the scenes? What do other family members in the company want to do? Have you guys met to discuss this situation?
What about writing a contract this afternoon for this employee....he has to sign and follow terms or his role is changed. It simply doesn't make sense to give someone this much power who is mentally ill and inconsistent in attendance and hours of work.
Are his mother and father (now deceased) the individuals who started the business? If so, will the mother be included on the meeting today? Or are they aware of the severity of the situation?
It sounds like he is a complete handful and the family simply turns away to avoid dealing with the reality of the situation. Are they aware of his illness and have a clear understanding of what it means and what his limitations are? From a psychiatric perspective, Personality Disorders rarely stand alone....no doubt he is struggling with more than that.
This would be extremely helpful for them to understand.....it is only then they will realize his limitations.
Did the therapist give him a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Or, Antisocial Personality Disorder? Just want to ensure you I send you the correct information.
Oh my. You have your hands full.
This article explains NPD well: https://www.bpdcentral.com/narcissistic-disorder/hallmarks-of-npd/
This article explains APD well: http://psychcentral.com/disorders/antisocial-personality-disorder-symptoms/
I hope your meeting goes well today. I wish you the best of luck.
I gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.