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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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I have a 68 year old male friend (former lover) but still

Customer Question

I have a 68 year old male friend (former lover) but still friends. He has Erectile Disfunction and I have found out by accident that he orders women's sexy lingerie and men's bulge crotch pants on line. He does not have a girlfriend - what could be his issue, is it serious and should I discuss it with him
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum. Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. There are really two possibilities here...1) Your friend could have a cross-dressing fetish in which he feels comfortable and sexually aroused wearing women's lingerie (I am not sure what "crotch pants" are so if you could explain them to me or send me a link of an example that may help). 2) He may have a sexual fetish/paraphilia where he just likes the feel of these items and they sexually arouse him when he touches them, but will not necessarily wear them. I cannot tell you if this is serious or not without first evaluating him face to face, but I can say if the paraphilia is the cause of erectile dysfunction than yes it can be a major issue for him. Paraphilas and fetishes are not unusual or abnormal for most people, but if they tend to disrupt the individual's daily life, social functioning, or cause the person distress than it can be an issue than needs to be treated by a trained psychologist.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He had E.D. when I met him and he had recently had a woman leave the relationship because of lack of penetration.
It was never a problem for me - and he did buy me some intimate lingerie. But we have not been intimate for a long time but good friends. He doesn't have a girlfriend but he is on a dating site. I am wondering if he is hiring women to perform and wear the clothes - money is not an object. Should I discuss it with him or hint - I doubt he will admit and would not show him the proof
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
If he is hiring women to "put on a show" for him, and I am assuming these women are escorts/prostitutes from your concern than you can discuss this with him, but I would only pose the question why he is buying women's lingerie and see how he answers. If he wants to divulge the reason that is up to him and you can support him with whatever issue is going on here, but if he chooses to not tell you than that is up to him and there is no need to push him. If he does not tell you the reason why or you think he is not being truthful, because of embarrassment, than tell him that you are always there to talk and support him no matter what so that you are being a good and caring friend and he knows that.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He had E.D. when I met him and he had recently had a woman leave the relationship because of lack of penetration.
It was never a problem for me - and he did buy me some intimate lingerie. But we have not been intimate for a long time but good friends. He doesn't have a girlfriend but he is on a dating site. I am wondering if he is hiring women to perform and wear the clothes - money is not an object. Should I discuss it with him or hint - I doubt he will admit and would not show him the proof
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
It looks like you accidentally sent a duplicate response, so I will just say to look what I wrote above and then you can respond to that when you are ready.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue. *Please do not forget to leave a positive rating at the top of the page so that I can get credit for helping you. Thank you, ***** ***** appreciate it.