Hi! I have been struggling with depression, rumination/obsessive thoughts for a few years now. I did
take Paxil for a year and it was somewhat helpful with the feelings, but not the thoughts. I am seeing a psychologist and that is going well. However, I am at point where it seems that the conclusion is that "this is who I am" which I'm not sure I agree with because I was happier before this episode.
Anyway - my specific question relates to a "cycle" I have observed over the years. It has been very consistent.
I go to bed and to sleep with no problems.
However, I have vivid dreams that are somewhat disturbing and typically wake up once in the early morning hours feeling upset. I go back to sleep but then wake up very early - between 4 and 6 feeling depressed.
This feeling carries throughout the day and is relatively mild, but is like a dark cloud.
This is the weird part - as the day progresses, I feel gradually better. VERY gradually.
Then - at about 6 or 7 pm I feel 100% fine. The depression seems completely gone, The thoughts do not bother me.
This has been a pattern for nearly 3 years.
My psychologist says that it's "who I am" and my regular doctor suggests melatonin - which doesn't seem to help much at all.