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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I have a old family friend that came to me "looking"

Customer Question

Hi I have a old family friend that came to me for help "looking" for a place to stay while he could find an apartment.. I said he could stay no longer than a month.. and only after he moved here that I found out from his family that he was diagnosed sociopath and that he was completly cut off from theyre life because he was aggressive and threaten them! He has been here for 3 weeks now and already asked for a longer stay and I refused his 2 month request but accepted his stay for a max of another 3 weeks.. he has not shown any aggresion and we actually get along very well but I am starting to have doubts and my family is very worried now! I have a 10 month old baby and my husband at home too.. so I guess my question is how could I get him out before his "3 weeks" (if its even possible) or stick to his 3 weeks without it being dangerous?? I just want him out as soon as possible for my babies safety. I heard some disturbing stories about him today and I am now scared. (He held a knife to his sisters throat, sexual treahthen his other sister and much more, they called the police multiple times on him)
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 9 months ago.
*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum. Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. There really is no "magic" way to get this individual out of your house before 3 weeks without legal intervention. You can consider trying to say that something has come up like a family emergency, finances, etc...to try to get him to leave sooner; this way you are not blaming him at all, but instead expressing how life circumstances changed and that you can no longer have him stay at your home. This indirect way to get him to leave would be best and I would definitely avoid directly telling him that he is not wanted or that you do not feel safe around him as that can possibly set him off.
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Ok I could do that! So he already manipulated me because I gave him an extension of his stay.. how could I show him that I could no longer be manipulated without him feeling challenged? Because and don't want him in 3 weeks to try to stay longer.. I have a feeling that he will want to stay around! I have been very succesfull in my finances and in the process of expanding my business and he already asked me to be part of it.. I have also noticed that he likes to be in the same rooms as me and mimics my moods. He obviously tries to manipulates me! (Ex: always saying "dont get hurt, let me do this for you". Saying im smart. Giving me food and offering babysitting and so on). Could he know i'm own to him and "plot" hurting me or someone Iove?? Or are sociopath really impulsive and never "plot" ? Could they be "evil" as everybody says? I just need some reasurance because i'm scared for my husband and baby. I know I might just be paranoid but he always wants to stay around me and I can't help to think "could he try to get rid of my family to stay as close to me as possible"???
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 9 months ago.
The only way to show him that you are not falling for his manipulation is by drawing firm lines/boundaries and saying no. So if he asks to stay longer, all you have to do is say no. True Psychopathy/Sociopathy can have elements of planning and impulsivity, but truthfully being impulsive is a more precise element of psychopathy/sociopathy according to Hare's PCL-R (Psychopathy Checklist Revised). I cannot tell you if he is plotting to hurt you or not as I have never met this man and I cannot see into the future, but if you feel he is trying to manipulate you already just use the word no a lot and do things on your own showing that you can be very independent and do not need anyone to help you.

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