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Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 498
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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I have the same problem of allways thinking of anal sex with

Customer Question

I have the same problem of allways thinking of anal sex with my wife, i gave it alot of thought of why now? After 12 years of marriage? Iam straight but in the last five years after my wife had our 3rd child the sex life got bad, she has some kind of bad case of dryness which makes it uncomfortable for her to enjoy intercorce she is such a good wife that didn't want me to know but I felt her suffering after a short while, I was very angry and upset , I felt so bad and selfish, we tried everything and went to every doctor, still no luck. One doctor said that it was a medical condition for a while but it is an emotional and mental condition now, which was formed from the bad experience in the beginning which turned into fear from the burning sensation related to sex. Then one year ago I suggested trying out other options such as anal sex , she accepted the idea and we tried few times, but still another problem started, my penus is to big for her she can't handle it, I am stuck now, I can't get anal sex out my mind and I love my wife and don't want to cheat on her. It's not her fault but i am very sexually active. What should I do.
Submitted: 8 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Linda D. replied 8 months ago.
Hello Frank, my name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in New York State. Thank you for using Just Answer. I want to commend you for reaching out to try to get help for you and your wife. I can hear how difficult and distressing this has been for you and your wife. At this time Frank, after ruling out all the medical reasons for your wife's physical discomfort during sex, it is time to make an appointment with a therapist or psychologist preferably one who specializes in marriage counseling for the two of you. Please understand that your obsessive thoughts about anal sex are most likely an anxiety reaction to the increased conflict, inner turmoil and guilt you expressed having. Having thoughts of anal sex is not wrong or unusual, it is just another sexual act that can bring pleasure. However the obsessive quality does imply you are struggling internally and a therapist can help you with this. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Linda D., LMSW, CASAC

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