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LeahMSWuofm, Clinical Social Worker
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 222
Experience:  10 years post-MSW experience
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My girlfriend ask space after we have dated

Customer Question

My girlfriend ask for some space after we have dated for 6 months and basically moved in together right away! She still text me every day from wake up till she falls asleep is she just being nice
JA: OK. The Psychologist will need to help you with this. Please give me a bit more information, so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: I just wanna know if she still likes me
JA: Anything else I can tell the Psychologist before I connect you two?
Customer: We basically have been tighter every single day since we started to date the past two days were the first we ever didn't see one another and it's killing me grant it we talked on the phkne and also text like I said all day
JA: I'm sending you to a secure page on JustAnswer so you can place the $5 fully refundable deposit now. While you're filling out that form, I'll tell the Psychologist about your situation and connect you two.
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  LeahMSWuofm replied 6 months ago.
Hi. my name is ***** ***** i'd like to help. Although I can't say for certain why your girlfriend asked for space and is still texting and talking to you so much, I would say it is a very good sign that she is still communicating with you so much. Typically, if she was not interested or really wanted to break it off, she would have stopped communicating with you all together. She clearly is still invested in you if she is talking to you so much. Dating for only 6 months and then moving in is a big step and she just simply may not have been ready for that level of commitment yet. that does not mean she will not be in the future and clearly, she isn't ready to throw your entire relationship away. Give your girlfriend the space she requested and continue to talk with her when she instigates it but avoid contacting her aggressively in the meantime if what she wanted was her space. Hopefully, she will soon realize she is better closer to you and you can move forward from this challenge. If this pattern continues for the next month or two without resolution and she is still giving you mixed signals or is unsure, communicate openly and honestly about your desire to have more. If she is not willing to take the relationship back to a place you want it, then you may need to consider what is next for you two. I hope this helps! -Leah.
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Thanks for the advice, I think I am messing up cause I keep asking her what she wants and she says she doesn't honestly know she did tell me today she is super stressed and is enjoying the time alone. She has a 2 year old and works somewhere she isn't happy with. I am heartbroken cause I truly love this girl and want to spend forever with her and up until this she was the same. I am just confused because like I said she will text me within 15 mins of waking up and text all day long till she falls asleep. And I feel like if it was over why would she wanna talk like we use to talk. I do feel we may spend too much time together and I know I can be difficult with certain things! It's just very confusing because she doesn't like to open up often and kinda keeps it all bottled in till she pops.My question is what steps should I take?? I asked her about getting together tom night and she was ok with it! I almost wanna be a jerk And just stop talking to her but that's not how I am cause I do truly love her even if it's just 6 months. But in the back of my head I wonder if space means she is done or if she is interested in other ppl it's iust difficult right now cause I don't know and I am the guy who needs to know everything
Expert:  LeahMSWuofm replied 6 months ago.
This does sound hard for you, especially considering how much you care about her. As far as steps to take, I would back off on asking her what she wants right now. I know that is hard because you would like reassurance but it sounds like she really is just taking time to focus on herself and her child and this will ultimately lead her to be stronger and more capable of loving you back. So let her take this time without pushing too much. I still agree that if it was completely over or she really wanted to see other people, she would have dropped communicating with you so this seems to be a great sign that she remains invested in you. I would continue to talk to her as long as it isn't breaking you and as long as she is mostly still initiating it. Sending an occasional text shows you care but avoid sending too many without her prompting the conversation. I like that you asked her out because you are attempting to meet your needs with wanting to see her and stay connected but you may want to tell her that after this date, you will wait for her to ask you out next because you want to respect her need for space. This will show her how much you respect her and her needs. So for now, continue to give space while keeping communication going at her pace. If this gets to the point where it is too painful and you need more from her then she wants to give or are tired of waiting, then you will have to let her know how you feel and run the risk of losing her if she isn't ready to commit. Hopefully the time you both are taking right now will lead her to realize how much she loves and needs you and it will all end well. It is a tough situation to be in so good luck riding it out!! -Leah

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