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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1372
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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My girlfriend is incapable of initiating sex. We've had MANY

Customer Question

My girlfriend is incapable of initiating sex. We've had MANY conversations about this and no matter what I tell her to encourage her, she had some sort of a mental block when she tries, or just straight up stalls because it makes her so nervous/anxious. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried being patient and I'm tired of always being the one to initiate. How can I help her get past this?
Submitted: 8 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 8 months ago.
*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum. Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. Because this is an issue within her that has most likely been present for some time has she considered undergoing therapy with a Sex Therapist to try to resolve this? Most likely this is not going to be a quick fix given what you described and since she cannot resolve it on her own than usually Sex Therapy would be the next step.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
We've talked about seeing a therapist, but because our schedules vary so much, I wanted to try this first.
I'm not looking for a quick fix, but perhaps some insight or strategies I can use to alleviate the problem. I realize that in some level, initiating can be scary, but considering she knows how important this is to me, I don't understand why she is unable to even act. Do you have any experience with this?
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 8 months ago.
Unfortunately this is a long process to try to resolve/fix given what you described, so there really are no step by step strategies that will work in this situation as therapy will need to understand when this started for her, why and what past events led to this, and then it will work through processing those events, feelings, and thoughts so that she can move forward with you intimately. This is what it will take to help her

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