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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10547
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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My husband out of nowhere will act like he is mad at me and

Customer Question

My husband out of nowhere will act like he is mad at me and it will often include comments like he is trying to keep our "playing field" level.. I don't understand how he can sometimes act loving and other times seem to be like a different person who is keeping score... We've been married a year and a half after about an 8 week courtship (yes, i know, too short) and immediately upon marrying he began controlling behavior over what i wear, who i talk to and what i say to them, where i go, etc... those issues have improved but i'm still resenting him and on top of it he often acts like I'm an enemy... I'm committed to marriage but I'm not sure this will ever feel like a loving relationship...
Submitted: 8 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 8 months ago.
*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum. Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. May I ask, what is your specific mental health question that you would like an answer to in regards ***** ***** situation?
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I guess I want to know if this is normal behavior or even close or if I'm dealing with someone who has serious issues that will hamper having a successful marriage... I don't want to stay married even longer if I'm dealing with big issues especially when he seems to find fault with any counseling option...
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 8 months ago.
I would definitely say this is not normal behavior and his level of control in your life is very concerning as it could be evidence of a personality disorder like Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Traits of NPD involve control, manipulation, never accepting when he is wrong, would blame others often, grandiose, and selfish. Because your husband is not willing to undergo therapy with you and help repair the relationship, that demonstrates that his behavior will probably not change as he does not feel is in the wrong. I know you are committed to this marriage, but if things will not change than unfortunately you will continue to be unhappy and frustrated by his behavior.

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