My name is***** I'm 58 yrs old and just recently lost my husband to cancer. He was not just my husband, he was my best friend, my companion and the love of my life. My daughter & 2 grandaughters had just moved in with us the week he was put on hospice. My grandaughters had just lost their daddy 2 weeks prior who was also on hospice. My daughter was served with custody papers from the girls half sister 2 days before my husband passed away. To get to the point I have totally quit coming out of our bedroom. I don't want to talk to anyone nor do I want to see anyone. I am so depressed that all I want to do is stay in bed and pull the covers up over my head. I was on Focalin 30 mg a day and Fetzima ER 80mg a day. My other meds are synthroid, Venlafaxine ER 75mg daily, Erythrocin 250mg (1) tab 4 times & at bedtime, Zofran 8mg SL q6 hours PRN, Phenergan suppositories Q6 hours PRN, Fentynal 50mcq patches Q48 hours and Tramadol 50mg q6 hours PRN. I have pancreatic disease from chronic pancreatitis the past 11 years. Gastroperesis, a goiter and 2 nodules on one side of my neck and 1 on the other side. I can't eat hardly anything because of my digestive system. I also have MVP and have had 3 ablations for SVT. I have a port which is now my 4th one cause my veins are shot due to the pancreatitis and gastroperesis. I have been on TPN feedings 4 times and am no longer able to that cause of my liver. I am not a quitter and never have felt sorry for myself. I am unable to find a psychiatrist since mine moved away. I feel my self getting deeper and deeper and can't snap out of it. I have nightmares
every night like my privacy fence has disappeared or like someone has actually came and cut out part of my property and hauled it off. That nightmare happens every night and I'm losing more and more of my yard to the point now when I open my front or back door my yard is gone. I have seen therapists in the past for depression two different times in my life but it turned out to be a joke. The last one I saw told me to completely cut out all communication with my children and grandchildren and to have nothing to do with them ever again. I am so lost it scares me. I miss my husband desperately!! I have been without the focalin and the venlafaxine for several months now. I do go to pain management once a month as I have been for the past 10 years.
JA: Thanks. Can you give me any more details about your issue?
Customer: I feel like I am sinking. I sleep all the time and I can't concentrate enough to even sit down and pay the bills. I cry all the time, I don't want to be around people nor do I want to leave my room.
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