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My name is ***** ***** I am a licensed psychotherapist in NYS. I also hold a specialty certification in drug and alcohol abuse. Thank you for using Just Answer, I am here to help you. You have just described perfectly what it feels like to love an alcoholic and not have any control over their drinking and other behaviors. My heart goes out to you. i have worked with many, many spouses and children of alcoholics who bear the pain of this disease. Fortunately there are many resources today to help YOU to cope and grow through this relationship. Al-Anon is the most powerful resource available to you. It is free and exists in every city and online as well. I want to encourage you to go online today and begin to read how they suggest you can love the alcoholic but take care of yourself as well. Alcoholism is a family disease and yes, you are just as affected by alcoholism as he is, you children too. But there is hope for you and honestly for him as well. as painful as it is to have left him, it was a healthy decision on your part to let him clearly know that you will not live with his behavior. You may have actually moved him one step closer to realizing the consequences of drinking the way he does. does this make sense to you? I look forward to hearing back from you. Linda
I am glad you chose to use Just Answer and yes, rant, vent, express how this has affected you. You need it and deserve to be heard and have your feelings validated. I am so happy that you have chose to try an al-anon meeting and would really appreciate it if you would let me know what you think after you go. In al-anon they talk about the three c's..........you can't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. And yes, you probably did try to control his drinking and behavior because you knew he was out of control. It is crazy how the alcoholic holds the ones who are in his life more accountable for their behavior then his own behavior. do not give up hope that from all of this can come new beginnings, new growth for you and your children and new chapters. I wish you and your children all the best. I would truly appreciate it if you would take a moment and rate my service to you. Sincerely, Linda
Hello, please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. If not, I would truly appreciate it if you would take a moment to rate my service to you so that I can receive credit. Thank you so much, sincerely, ***** ***** LMSW, CASAC