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Linda D.
Linda D., Psychotherapist, LMSW, CASAC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 506
Experience:  LMSW, CASAC
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Is never experiencing Joy, Elation, or anything other than

Customer Question

Is never experiencing Joy, Elation, or anything other than occosional and very fleeting moments of happiness possible to overcome rather than existing in a melancholic or severly depressed state just existing? Im 36 and I cannot definitivly recall one. I was diagnosed 3 years ago with Major Eposodic Depp Disorder, Adult AD/HD, and a form of OCD for recurring thoughts. And low t haha
Submitted: 8 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 8 months ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.

Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. I am very sorry that you are experiencing this intense level of depression, I can understand how distressing this can be for you. It is possible to overcome, but you would need either proper medication management or more intensive treatment measures such as Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), IV Ketamine, or Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT). May I ask, what is your current medication regimen and what have you tried in the past?

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
3 years ago I scarred myself by premeditation and planning of my suicide. Went to my Md. Im not scared to die and while at times the thought would come to me, it wasn't one I gave much plausibility. This was different. He recommended a anti depressive but I told him It would be more prudent I check into a Rehab/Psyc center in town just in case. Had a 2 year old at the time. So I drive there and after 10 days those were the Dr.s diagnosis. I left on 9 medications - Emsam, Metformin, Requip, Armor Thyroid, Adderall 60mg, Restoril, and a "booster at a low dosage of Ropinerole(?) Its the one that law firfs are attacking due to breast development in young males - and over counter Melotonin 15mg 4000mg Vit D and injected B12 with test cyponate .1cc wk 10/100. I was to put it mildly, having to search for words which typically my mind races 4-6 ahead in mildly interesting dialog. I stood in my closet for 2 hours in the same spot looking at the floor.So I abruptly discontinued taking all but the armor thyroid, testos, metformin (not diabetic fyi). I now know why its called "practicing medicine".I was given Ritalin from age 7 and given disseprimine, doxepin, welbutrine, celexa, and effexor through age 17 when I had to support myself due to my mothers OD on Elevil. I was raised primarily in institutions, foster care, and later the Juvenile Justice System.I have been on Lexapro now for 2 months and will begin adding welbutrine with it. No other meds except the testosterone which was at an 84 after a 3 month abstinence to remeasure and check liver and psh/tsh levels. Have been back on the cyponate for 7 weeks.I do more often and unfortunately now have an addiction to methamphetamine but with a much different high than 99% of others I have watched. But alas, its only a temporary reprieve. And then back to my obsessive and recurring thoughts and general unhappiness. I can love though, as my now 5 yo daughter teaches me. Ive been married 18 years to my wife who is 9 years older who I met at 17.
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I am functonal and own my own energy marketing and commodities brokerage.
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 8 months ago.

Sorry, your case is a bit too intense for me at this late hour, so I am going to opt out for another expert to take your question. Good luck

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
LOL no worries. I feel the same way too, most all the time. Thanks for the time.
Expert:  Linda D. replied 8 months ago.

Hello Will, my name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in private practice in New York State and also certified as a Alcohol and Substance Abuse specialist. Until two years ago I was the clinical treatment Director for an outpatient and inpatient treatment facility. It sounds like you have been on quite a journey for the last several years. Although you are able to function as you shared, in my professional experience a person does not make any progress emotionally, mentally or physically while still using a substance that they are addicted to. Meth is very powerful and certainly takes the person and their brain hostage, meaning it controls you, you do not control it. May I ask....do you consider yourself a drug addict? I have to leave for an appointment in a short while, if I do not get right back to you, I will be back to you this afternoon. I look forward to helping you. Sincerely, Linda

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
My entire life has been the journey but the last few has been the most difficult. To answer your question, yes I do admit that I'm addicted and that I have lost the ability to stop without assistance. I had been able to on 3 other occasions with 3-4 years of sobriety between each relapse. The allure is as attractive as it is sickening, allowing me some emotional fulfillment but quickly compounding my profound sadness in my inabilty to be happy and the wheel goes round and round... the absence of joy has always been here since childhood. All the medications I got were taken by my mother not ne, and the institutions found no need to have me on them.... I fit the round peg holes of these easily and quickly learned the way to manipulate it with a facade.
Expert:  Linda D. replied 8 months ago.

Thank you Will for being honest and sharing this with me. Unfortunately I do believe that as you said, the despair, hopelessness and sadness will only continue to increase as long as you are in addiction. I have never met an addict yet, who is not suspended in some state of grief due to experiences and/or losses in their personal life, most going back to family of origin issues. I also believe that addicts are hard wired differently either from birth or as a result of the damage to our brain that we have done from use. However, I know it is very possible to significantly reduce the symptoms of mood disorders and other mental health conditions with a combination of CBT therapy and medication; but the addict MUST first get clean so that these treatments can be effective. You have a wife, a child, a business that means something to you, maybe it is time to let those defenses down and the belief that you are "functional" and take this opportunity to get the help you need. Don't you think that you and your family deserve a chance for a happier, more fulfilling quality of life with you clean and sober? I do. Linda

Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I agree with most of what you are saying. I agree and am seeking help and have enrolled at local NA recovery program with a church my family is affiliated and am sober for the past 3 weeks. As for my family's happiness I do not owe them a happier future more than I owe myself that future.However, that is the dilemma. I don't experience it and never have, even prior to any addiction to any substance, behaviors, activities, perversions, etc. Until I was introduced and found that my mood was elevated and I was able to smile, I had only smoked pot which I never liked and those are it.I hate pain medications and I hate being intoxicated and therefore do not partake. I'm down enough.
The very fact that I am now behaviorally and mentally tied to and down from anything makes me angry at myself because I have never been a slave to anything, especially once I deemed the possibility of losing the control.Interpersonal relationships are not the same. I choose to love my wife and family and am not controlled by them and do not expect to control.I think I should have developed the thought and question a bit more before I posted, as I think it has been looked over in favor of the addiction. The two are yes now interwoven due to my own "hope" of it being the cure, but even with meth removed and prior to its introduction the symptoms and absence was and is still there.
Expert:  Linda D. replied 8 months ago.

It is good to hear you have been clean/sober for the last three weeks and have a program to support you and yes, I agree you are definitely the most important person to focus on. Dr. Z and I have made some suggestions of what we think would be helpful in dealing with your absence of joy, elation and happiness. There is a lot of information here, I hope we have been of some help to you. Please let me know if there is anything else I can offer to you that might help. Sincerely, Linda

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