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Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. I can definitely understand why you are concerned about your daughters behavior, but it does sound like this is quite normal for someone of her age and temperament. May I ask has she expressed any sadness or depressive symptoms at all related to this? And if you tell her that she can be a girl, but still do "boy" things or emulate "boy" fictional characters (e.g. adventurers) how does she respond?
Well unfortunately no matter how much progress we have made in regards ***** ***** equivalency, there is still a lot of work to be done on this front. Your daughter probably gets reminded by her peers, most likely the boys, that she "should" not be doing this and this (e.g. adventuring, active, sporty, etc...) and she should be doing this (e.g. focusing on being a princess, damsel in distress, cooking, etc...). Gender roles are still barriers that as a society are difficult to overcome, but there has been a lot of progress. So this is most likely why you have to keep reassuring your daughter that she does not have to follow a traditional female gender role and that she can be whatever she wants to be; her desire to be a boy is not really a gender issue, but more an issue for opportunities in her eyes as she feels there is a better fit with the traditional male gender role, which is fine. Usually a child that truly wishes to be a different gender or feels they are in the wrong gender will have intense depression and anxiety about their gender, but it sounds like your daughter is just expressing how she feels there is an unfairness with traditional gender roles, and she is right. As long as you continue to reassure her and support her decisions for her to form her own path, not linked to any gender role, than she will do just fine. Most likely she is just frustrated that others try to stereotypical cast her in a role just because she is a girl, which in my opinion is perfectly understandable.
You have to understand, she is very young so complex ideas and concepts such as gender roles are beyond her right now...in her mind everything is very black and white. So she knows she wants to do "boy" activities, so to her in order to do that she must be a boy. That is the simplistic thinking and thought process she is going through right now, which is understandable given her age. As she gets older she will understand more abstract concepts and start to realize that her destiny and goals are not predicated on her gender only. So far you are not doing anything wrong as you are being a progressive parent which is good; continue to support your daughter and tell her that just because a toy is blue or looks like it is meant for a boy, does not mean she cannot have it. Help her to think outside of the box...you can also switch it around and tell her what if a boy wants to play with a pink princess, is that wrong...of course not because he can be and do what he wants. I understand that you purchased toys and encouraged activities that may be meant for "girls" in the stereotypical sense, but I would say you should not feel forced to do this and instead let her branch out and explore the person she wants to be as long as she is happy and not hurting others.
I hope this helps to provide you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns as I would be happy to continue assisting you regarding this issue.
*Please do not forget to leave a positive rating at the top of the page so that I can get credit for helping you. Thank you, ***** ***** appreciate it.