I'm having a bit of a bit of a panic
attack just trying to use this. I want to try to get help, but every time I try to open up to my family I start to feel ashamed or I stop trusting the doctor. i'm also afraid that depending on what diagnosis I recieve it might upset my parents or somehow cause them to disown me. I saw my best friend get disowned when he came out to them, and my parents are even more judgemental when it comes to sexuality, drugs, religion, ect. (living in the south also predisposes me to think that everyone judges me on a regular basis considering my life.) I'm bi, something I struggled with for a few years(I had ingrained in me that homos are going to hell, worst of the worst, ect.), but I now love and accept that part of me, but I can never share that with them. that is just part of who I am, much like much like how I know I either have bipolar
or bpd(or a combo, I really don't know). I've been depressed a few times in my life(months at a time, or less), I love indulging in drugs(they help shut emotions and thoughts off, but by no means do they control my life), frequently I get these spikes of anger out of the blue and end up hurting(emotionally) friends, family some. I'm at least able to think clearly atm, and that only happens every once in a while(comes and goes(usually when I'm not depressed)), but when I'm not dpressed I feel a little crazier so it's not much better. I've been struggling with this and I want help, but I'm downright scared of what I might find out.